A Month of Thankfulness!

Tomorrow we start November and we are inching closer to Thanksgiving! I can't believe how quickly time seems to be going by this year. The twins will be 5 months old on November 7th, Stella is 18 months and Max is FOUR!

Something that I think is really important to Rob and I in our parenting is teaching our children to be grateful. There are SO MANY adults and kids today that have a HUGE sense of entitlement and it drives me bananas. Instead of being grateful for the blessings that we are given we are constantly on the hunt for more or unsatisfied, even when our every need is filled. We are not perfect and can definitely be guilty of this as well!

In an effort to remember just how blessed we are as a family, we are going to be celebrating November with a Month of Thankfulness and Gratefulness! We plan to show our appreciation for those around us with random acts of kindness and little things that just say THANK YOU!

Some ideas that I have for the month are...

1. Make treats and take them to the fire house down the street. These firefighters are the ones who responded to our scary 911 call with Max last year.
2. Send treats to Mommy and Daddy's coworkers.
3. Give a $5 gas card to someone.
4. Leave a $1 by the coffee machine at a gas station.
5. Donate our old clothes to friends and others.
6. Donate toys we don't play with anymore.
7. Turkey our neighbors with a surprise on their doorstep.
8. Visit the Oklahoma Food Bank and donate canned goods and $ for meals.
9. Pick up trash somewhere.
10. Take a treat to our LifeKids Director at church.
11. Give an offering at church.
12. Make dinner for friends.
13. Take old towels and treats to the local animal shelter.
14. Write a Thank You card to a friend.
15. Send a TS gift to someone just to say we love you.
16. Leave candy for the mailman.
17. Adopt a kid for Christmas.
18. Leave change on a vending machine.
19. Treat our sitter to a sonic drink.
20. Take a coffee to our MDO director.
21. Bring breakfast for our MDO teachers.
22. Leave nice notes on bathroom or dressing room mirrors for the ladies.
23. Make a military care package for a deployed soldier.
24. Take a dinner to a military wife.
25. Pay for the person behind us somewhere.
26. Pray for a friend.
27. Call our grandparents just to say Hi.
28. Tip the teenage boys who helped us take our groceries out.
29. Give a gift to our siblings!
30. Adopt a family for Christmas.

Other little things we want to do are be kind, smile at strangers, teach Max to open doors for ladies and the elderly, put carts back at stores, let someone cut in line, give more hugs, say Thank You to everyone, complain less, laugh more and pray often!

I don't know that we will get close to doing everything on our list but we are excited to show others that we are thankful for them!

Our month was inspired by this!
http://ticklestogiggles.blogspot.com/2010/05/my-birthday-was-awesome.html

God is POWERful

Thank you so much for everyone's texts, emails and phone calls to make sure we are ok. We are great. Rob went home at lunch yesterday and we still did not have power. He headed home after work and we were on the phone discussing plans because we were certain we would still be powerless.

There are still powerlines ALL over the road into our neighborhood. They are still looking like the picture above but they have had trucks out there all day and night. Imagine our surprise when Rob walked into a house with lights on and clocks flashing. We have power!

God is amazing and your prayers truly made the difference. If you saw this road first hand you would never imagine that we would have power so quickly.

I will say that it took me 2 hours to get home. I had to pick up Deuce, pick up Max, stop for Milk, Toilet paper and cupcakes for the daycare Valentines Day party and then grab some dinner since all of our food is still at families house. Max was asleep by the time we got home but we got home! And we have electricity. Our cable and internet is still down but that is not a neccesity. We watched a movie in bed on the laptop and went to bed at a decent hour.

With Power
Jesi

Worn Out

Exhausted, Tired, Just Plain Worn Out

Let's get a little perspective on last week...
Saturday-TS Party, stayed too late, had lots of fun
Sunday-TS Party, stayed awhile, had lots of fun, came home tired
Monday-got up before baby (wha?), woke him, took Max to allergy testing
Monday-AM-Cursed Allergies, discovered that Max is allergic to EVERYTHING except food
Monday-cursed weather as we got a lovely winter storm with black ice
Brought home baby, filled with meds, lazed around the house in comfies
Monday night-BABES was cancelled due to weather, dangit, needed that inspiration, lost two pounds, can I keep it off this week
Tuesday-Daycare is closed, split day with Rob, morning with crazy baby, afternoon with crazy work
Tuesday-Noon-went to work, discovered that I don't understand why I work at my job, cried, got over it, complained, came home
Tuesday night-ahhh relaxation, cannot sleep, have to be at work by 5:30, bad roads, tossed and turned for all 5 hours
Wednesday-Woke up at 4:30AM, GAG. Got to work at 5:30AM, worked too long, felt slightly better about work
Thursday-got up before baby again (wha?) took Max to school (open, thank ya Jesus) got ready for work trip (WHY)
Thursday-drove to Dallas, got Gap jeans on sale, arrived, had lots of sushi and asian food, yum...wine and sake too. tired.
Sat in 3 hour meeting, discussing goals, challenges and areas where I need help. Help...not fun, meeting went well.
Tired-got ready with Bambi and Juicy, teased B's hair into Dallas hair, laughed a lot, good times
Thursday Night-Went to Dinner at the famous Nobu...decided against more Asian, had a very small portion of yummy short ribs, waited for ever as everyone else finished 7 courses of Asian, stole food from Juicy, danced at the table, laughed with Charlies Angels
Went to bed TOO late
Friday-Got up too early. Went to SPA. Thank you Owner for this treat. Rubbed all over with hot stones. Yum.
Breakfast, lunch planned-ASIAN. GAG. No more asian food.
Got lost in Dallas, went to Central Market=Heaven, rushed home in traffic
Friday Night-TS Party, girls drinking lots of sangria. Funny, Stayed too late, had lots of fun. TIRED.
Saturday Morning-Got up early with baby, give Rob a break for being a single parent this week. Cuddle Max, missed him A LOT. Went to Classen for Chinese New Year, the MIL and SIL wanted....ASIAN FOOD. GAG. No more asian food!!!!!
Saturday Night-TS Party, stayed WAY too late, had LOTS of fun!
Sunday-Woke up early, slept on couch. Finally got around, went to work, early. Sat through a repeat 3 hour managers meeting. Felt better about my job, for now. Coworkers wanted to go out to lunch, they wanted...ASIAN FOOD. NO THANK YOU.
Went home, ate lunch (mexican, thank you Jesus!), took Baby (give Rob another break from singleparenthood) to Target, it's packed and they are sold out of Velveeta (wha?)Eavesdropped, found 2 boxes of Mexican Velveeta, snagged it and ran out.
Sunday Night-Enjoyed dinner, clean house and the Superbowl. Laughed too hard with Codie.
Fell asleep, early, finally, felt the warmth of Rob, thankful for my snoozing baby across the house. Warm dog on feet.
Tired, exhausted, worn out.

I need some BABES, some Jesus and a good ol fashioned BREAK.
Always,
Jesi

Open Windows

Open Windows

You know the saying...when God shuts a door, He opens a window.

I am sitting here feeling the breeze of open windows.

I fully admit worrying about paying our mortgage and making it work seriously sent me into panic mode. But for today, I feel the breeze of windows He is opening and I am at peace.

We will make it through, somehow, someway. I stopped the other day and thought two things.
1) As I laid in bed evaluating what things we would cut from the budget I never considered cutting out our tithes. THAT is a good thing. Because I don’t want to start to imagine the hole we would dig if we started being stingy with the money we are given on loan from our Father.
2) After I realized (1) I thought about how much money we tithe and what bills might be paid with that money instead. Nahhh...so not going down that road.

But the other night, my amazing friend Summer told me that Rob should work for the railroad. The funny thing is that she just called it the railroad. So when I relayed the story, I just called it the railroad too. Apparently if you have police or military experience you can provide security for the “railroad” and make a lot of money and get your babies covered at 100%! Summer works for an OBGYN, thus the baby coverage part of this story.

Now Rob and I laughed and then promptly googled “police and security railroad jobs” Ok, that is what HE googled...I googled “working for the railroad”

We didn’t find much on the railroad, not really our window. What we did do was open up JobsOK.com and start looking around. Did you know that those mall security guys get paid squat? You probably already knew that.

What I did notice was a listing from the Moore Police Department. Hiring. Now some of you may know that Rob is in school for a Police Science degree...so he skipped over it. After all he is still IN SCHOOL. But I made him go back. We opened it, no details. Please go to the City of Moore website. Tab Open, City of Moore. And we read that they are hiring, for several positions, that in order to interview you need to show up on Thursday, November 20th for a 1.5 mile run, a sprint, and a physical test. If you pass the physical test, you will pay $15 for the written test. Benefits, salary, college tuition reimbursement....etc. etc. etc, only 30 hours of college credit required. Guess who has over 30 hours of college credit?

The moral of the story? Maybe God shut a door for us so He could open this window, a job that Rob actually wants to do, allowing him to start his career, finish school, feel financially and personally satisfied....maybe.

I covet your prayers over this, a million times more than when you prayed for my job opportunity (you know when God slammed the door, Ouch) There is something about praying for my husband that makes me fervent in seeking Him.

So pray for Rob, as he prepares over the next week. And tests next Thursday. And puts himself out on the line for something he would really love. And for me too, as I sit in the breeze of an open window, remembering to remind myself to remember that God is ALWAYS faithful.
Always,
Jesi

Hanging On

Wow, I never knew how much I was hanging on to all things earthly until this little job scare entered our picture. It seems that I cannot stop being a stressful, obsessed freakazoid at the thought of drastically reworking our budget. I thought that I had given God control over our finances, after all we tithe, even when we are already on a tight budget, Rob and I have firmly believed in the power of tithing and things have always worked out for us.

We have been tremendously blessed in the area of finances. We have always had enough money to live prosperous American lives and go out to eat when we want to. So tightening up has been a lesson in what is truly important. Switching to an all cash budget, a la Dave Ramsey, has been scary and freeing at the same time. The first time I took my debit card out of my wallet I got a little nervous. After all, I am the anti cash girl. I never have Cash! Could I really make it on $25 spending money a week? Cash Only?

YES! To record, I still have $15 and some change and I get a new allowance on Friday so I am pretty proud of myself.

This morning, as I laid in bed, watching my husband snooze and feeling a warm little body in between us I started making it work in my head. Does it really matter if Max doesn't get to go to the absolute best daycare that is super close to our house? No, not really. There is a great daycare down the street from my work that is spoken really highly of, and it is much cheaper. Do I need the nice car with leather seats and a sunroof? Not really, I could always get a cheaper car, as long as it gets from A to B, isn't that the point anyways? Do we need 5 million movie channels? Definitely not? Do we ever use our home phone? Barely ever! Could I rearrange some things for a year or so, so that Rob can finish school? Definitely. Do I NEED a $25 pedicure? Do I NEED to eat out after church? Do I NEED expensive snack bars?

No, No, No. Evaluating what I could really do without, and seeing everything I would still have laying next to me in a warm bed, in a nice house, with a full pantry, food in my refrigerator and $15 and some change in my purse I realized that we can always make it. We will always make it, God will always provide for us. Even in the tough times, even when I do without the movie channels, the pedicure and the lunch out after church.

God is still God, today, yesterday and tomorrow and He will always be faithful. Always,
Jesi
" Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap, nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them. " (Matthew 6:26)

The Storms never stop

Sometimes it becomes easy to find your identity in a season. I fully admit that I found a certain identity in myself as I survived our last deployment. I clung more closely to the life of a military wife, a military mommy because that is what I was living. Day in and day out, I breathed it, wrote it, cried it, barely survived it, praised through it, prayed my face off and made it through.

So when our deployment ended I knew that my mindset would change. That I would make an unconscious shift back to just living day by day. Working, breathing, living. I wrote about it last time. And this weekend, sitting in church I was reminded that I love my God. Love Him more than anything else.

But even in the seasons of joy, the storms are never stopped. There is someone out there, unworthy of my words, who seeks to kill and destroy us. To scare us into a submission that causes us to run, to flee from our God. He uses the challenges of life, of the economy, of our world to frighten us into a fearful mindset where we are ravaged by the storms.

It's storming in Oklahoma. The wind is whipping through the trees, the rain is pouring down and the water is rising. The storm is taking over the beauty of fall. And I feel every second of it in my soul. Even when we are still in celebration mode, when I can still look over at Rob, in awe that he is still here, the storms are starting to rage. Rob was SUPPOSED to have a 10 month military order that put him working at the armory. And making near the same amount of money. And we found out last week that it is gone. No longer available. Over before it started.

So where does that leave us? In the start of a small storm, praying, tithing and BELIEVING that God will provide. I debated even sharing it with anyone, wanting to stand so strong in my faith that I would just wait for the praise report and then tell everyone around us how good our God is. But I decided that being on the receiving end of your prayers *again* was not such a bad thing.

I admit, my heart was getting battered by the start of this storm. My creativity and brain spinning the surge much farther than it has even gone. And I was stopped firmly in the midst of my meltdown by first my husband, who assured me that everything would work out, and my God, who reminded me that He was still here, today, tomorrow, always the same, always protecting me, always looking out for us, always spinning the universe in perfect working order and that HE could handle this storm just fine.

So pray for us please. Before the storm takes over my mindset again, and I find myself sitting in the rain.
Always,
Jesi

Life Takes Over

When I am running around getting ready in the morning and I never pray...Life takes over. I smile at Rob as he helps me, packing the bags, making me lunch, kissing me goodbye through the car window. Waking up before he has to. Life takes over.

When I get in the car and I think about everything I have to do. I drop off Max, I avoid him crying as I leave. I get to work, rushing in a few minutes late. I check my emails, check the blogs, and check my favorite websites. I reply to customers, I check voicemails; I deal with crazy brides who make me want to pull my hair out.

Life Takes Over.

I leave as soon as I can. I relish in Max seeing me as I pick him up. I kiss his face and hug him tight, I pack his bags and we head home. Or to church, or to BABES, or to dinner with family or friends...but mostly home and Life takes over.

We eat, we play, and we take a bath. We see each other, we laugh, and we do the things that families do in the weeknights of fall. We take our family walk/jog. We retire to the couch, or the computer, or the video game, or to each other.

My life is taking over my time with God. Again. Haven’t I been here many times before? Stumbled away one slow step, one slow fade from brilliant to tarnished? One small choice of how I spend my time, what I do, who I am, who I want to be.

Life takes over so easily. I love my life, oh how I love every moment in those days. I love seeing my husbands face in the morning. I love hugging my sweet baby before the morning light awakens us. I love running around like a crazy woman, taking on way too much but relishing in the frenetic energy my crazy life creates.

Even though I love it all, I love my God more.

God Take Over.

Birthday Party Pictures

Watch out, this Monkey is turning One!

Monkey Cupcakes, YUM!

My new ride from Grandpa Lloyd and Grandma JuJu!

Everyone is singing Happy Birthday to Me?!?!

How you doin? Max's future wife, Cailin and his proud Godfather, Drew.

Learning how to play football...and learning how to punt.

Opening Presents with Mommy and Daddy! Thanks Yo!

All tuckered out with Granny Lisa

Max had an awesome birthday! We had a pavillion at the park and LOTS of friends and family came to celebrate. He had a monkey themed party and it was lots of fun! There were even monkey cupcakes and a hanging monkey too. Max can't wait until he turns 2 but we can.

Always, Jesi

Max's Birthday Party

I feel so out of touch having not blogged in several days...truth be told, I haven't even gotten to read many of my favorite blogs this week and that is blasphemy to me!

But I knew October was going to be a killer, from the Breast Cancer Walk, my BF's baby shower, Rob coming home, Max's Birthday and Party, the Beautiful Womens conference at Victory Church, UCO Homecoming, Pancake Palooza Breakfast and Founders Day, and the Taste of Western my head is spinning, spinning, and spinning some more.

So once the chaos calms a bit I will post pictures from Max's Birthday party. Till then, Happy Chaotic Wednesday!
Always,
Jesi

The Finale

Well, I know my loyal secret readers are eagerly awaiting my Homecoming story so I came out of my reclusive fog to share a bit with you.

Monday morning, I woke up at the crack of dawn, after just a few hours sleep. Max and I decided that 5:30AM would do just fine; after all it was finally here. We were just hours from picking up Daddy!

Off we went, coffee in hand, my parents driving along, and multiple cameras in tow. I decided to wear a cute outfit, new jeans, and a favorite shirt. No dress for me, I couldn’t seem to wrap my head around a dress and heels at the crack of dawn. We got to the college where we were supposed to wait, and wait we did.

Rob’s aunt, his sister and some of his friends made it too. All sitting, and waiting, and laughing at a sleepy Max as my stomach flipped flopped with the nerves that always show up. Finally we heard what we wanted to know, “your soldiers are on the other side of this wall” and the crowd erupted in cheers.

And in they marched, some full of pride and boasting as they waved and smiled, some marching in, just another day to them. Rob walked in finally, chewing gum and looking somber...my tired love. Tired of waiting, tired of travel and tired of dealing with inconsiderate guys who don’t understand how to process homecoming.

Tired and somber, doesn’t matter to me. He looked wonderful, in the uniform and boots that have graced his slimmer figure for months on end. We listened to lots of important reminders, announcements and some lovely accolades but I didn’t hear a thing. I craned and strained to see my love through the crowd, Max on my hip, sleepy from his early wake up call.

Finally, a call to attention and release to their families, a salute for a job well done and off they went. We crowded the floor, eager to see one another and remember how it feels to be together again. I caught Rob’s eye before I touched him. So I waited as we pushed through the sea of chaos and finally.

He was there, I was there, Max was there. A simple hug, a simple smile, a simple kiss. And a lot of pictures.

Hello again, you’re home. And it was wonderful.

I wish I could say the next few hours and days were filled with extraordinary moments but they weren’t. They were filled with tender embraces, laughter and normalcy, creeping back in minute by minute. We are in transition now. Remembering how to be together, reminding ourselves that this is our normal and figuring out how to function as three instead of two. So far, smooth sailing. But readjustment can be scary...because everything that should be the same has changed and things are different now. You have to learn what that means, and you realize that you are entering yet another, New Normal. We are on our way...to our new normal. Taking it day by day, remembering to embrace the changes and cherish the moments...the simplest and most mundane moments, in remembrance of what we lost and what we have to gain. And even in the moments where we question everything that has happened, are you really home? Is this temporary? Is it really over? The smallest whisper, “I love you and I am so glad to be home” makes everything perfect.

For we are on our way, taking it day by day.
Always,
Jesi

Girlfriends

Ohhhhhh how I love my girlfriends. I love them almost as much as the crisp fall air that is finally coming my way. Ok, really I love them more than that.

I am a girlfriend type of girl. I always listened to other girls talk about how they got along better with boys and they hated girls. Really? Not me, I will take a pretty smelling, nice talking, encouraging, girlfriend over a smelly boy any day.

In middle school, I had a close knit group of girlfriends. I marvel at how we stayed friends when we were so mean to each other at times! And we made each other pass out and call boys that we didn’t even like that much. And I took some of them to high school with me.

In high school I had a pretty large group of girlfriends. And varied we were, by the end of our four years we had taken pretty different paths. We were growing apart but we loved each other nonetheless. In fact we loved each other enough to do a yearbook page together, now that is love.

In college, I took some of those same girlfriends with me. I pledged Delta Zeta with one of my best friends and then convinced my bestie amongst all besties that she had to do it too. She did. And I can’t imagine my college years without her. Sadly, most, but not all of those high school friendships melted and cooled as new bonds of sisterhood were born in dirty houses and late night terrorizing trips to the fraternity houses. We laughed, we loved, we cried, we fought, we screamed at each other and we always made up with tearful hugs at turtle talks. (Don’t ask)

I loved those girls that surrounded me those four years. And I still love them. More than the cool crisp autumn air that blows around me. They are a life blood that keeps me laughing and young, crying, celebrating and mourning together as life forces us from college girls worried about homecoming games to adults worried about life. We hold tightly together in our brief moments together.

I love my girlfriends and I am so thankful to have them in my life. I can’t imagine my life only surrounded by smelly boys. And Lord knows I will probably have all boys in my house. I need my nice smelling, lovely, beautiful, brave, smart, challenging, real girlfriends. They make my heart fuller. My cup runneth over.

Always,

Mentoring

I have never considered myself a mentor because I always feel like I am being mentored by women much smarter and put together than myself. I am being mentored and I have a mutual mentorship with my accountability partner but I haven't consider myself a mentor.

God is really revealing this to be untrue. In recent days I have been a mentor to someone older than me and many younger than me. He has used mistakes of my past to mentor to young women who might make those same silly mistakes. He has used me to influence hurting people. He has revealed that there are younger women who are watching me stealthily, who see me as a mentor.

It’s been enlightening and scary at the same time. What a responsibility to know that they are watching me, my actions and my reactions. Gulp.

But the best thing that I can offer these women in mentorship is honesty. I don’t have it all together (you know that, you read my blog!) I make mistakes daily. I have ignored God in the past, and sometimes even in the present. I sin. I fail. But everything comes back to His Grace.

If that is the only thing they ever glean from watching me I would be satisfied.
Always,

When God Says No

Don't you love it when God says No.

Ok, probably not. We all love when God says Yes. Yes, your marriage can be restored. Yes, your child is healed. Yes, you are loved. Yes, you are saved by grace. Yes, I forgive you. Yes, child, Yes.

But the no's can be somewhat tougher to handle.

No, I cannot reveal my plan just yet. No, you will not get this job. or the next one. No, you will not have a child. No, you will not live until an old age. No, your life will not be easy. No, child, No.

This morning I took something from Max that he didnt need to play with. He cried. He sobbed, He threw a little tantrum and kicked his feet at me. He slumped down on the ground and would not come to me when I reached for him. But I did not give it back. He didn't need it and he could have hurt himself with it. I knew better than him as his parent. But that didn't stop the tantrum.

And in that moment I saw myself. How often does God say No and we throw a temper tantrum? We kick our feet, run away when He reaches out to us and we slump on the ground in despair at our fate.

But He knows better as our parent, that we don't need that "thing" and that we might have gotten hurt.

I'm not claiming to have this all figured out folks. I still woke up at 4 AM, unable to sleep, alternately listening to the whispers from each shoulder.

You should have
No, child, No
You could have
No, child, No
Maybe if I
No, child, No
Maybe next time
No, child, No

I prayed over and over and over again that I would be me in my interviews. And if that wasn't what they wanted and it wasn't His will that the door would shut.

It slammed.

No, child, No

I am looking for the plan, seeking the purpose, when I can look back and say, "I understand Lord"
Yes, child, Yes
Always,

Adoring Normal

HELLLLOOOOOO. Though it has been just over a week since I posted that Rob was home for a 2 week R&R it feels like so much longer to this blog loving mommy. See, normally consumed with my longing to see Rob, and knowing that he always checks my blog for updates I keep up with it pretty regularly. But consumed with adoring normal, I have failed to write over the past week.

And really that is a good thing for me. There was a time when I became slightly consumed with the internet. One might call it an obsession, one might call it an addiction but I know I was wasting time. Time better spent PLAYING with Max, and before this loverly deployment, actually SPENDING TIME with Rob, not just sitting together in a room each busy with nothing.

So, really when I lost the internet at home almost a month ago it was such a gift from God. See it just stopped working. And when I called Cox they told me my connection was fine so it must be my router. And when I tried to fix it, it was unfixable. Supposed to send it in weeks ago, never did, busied by life, forgetful me. And when Rob finally got home, HE FIXED IT! Without a new router and everything!! See, he really is handy sometimes.

But I realized, without the crutch of the web, I had spent more time living. More time with Max, more time with life, being a better me, a better Mommy, and really feeling better too. What a gift He had given me, a few weeks away from the lure and I feel so much more in control of the internet usage. Don’t get me wrong, I still love me some internet time. But I don’t want my husband or my kids to remember be glued to a computer screen, my back always turned away from them. I would rather look at their faces and remember the expressions.

But I have digressed from the blog path of today. Today I realized that I have spent the last week adoring normal. You know dealing with a deployment is a challenge that I don’t always enjoy. Well duh, you know that, you read my blog! But there is a gift in being separated from your spouse for so long. When they are gone, nothing is normal. Everything is different, harder, takes longer, a battle of the wills, of the mind and definitely of your spirit. What is normal, is not.

You might feel just normal when your husband holds the baby lazily in the morning while you run around like your hair is on fire, getting ready, taming the burning hair, making bottles, packing for daycare, remembering the checkbook, forgetting your cell phone, washing a bottle, searching for a presentable outfit in the messy existence that is always our bedroom. That is normal right? Well when your husband is gone, that is not normal. Take the above list and add back that baby, either playing with things that are definitely NOT TOYS or whining and crying, clinging quite sadly to your pajama hem as you desperately try to distract him just long enough to tame your hair.

So, this week, with Rob actually here, our little family unit complete for a temporary moment, I am ADORING normal. Handing over the baby when his tantrum over a diaper change becomes unbearable. Having a Daddy there to pin Max down for said diaper change. Asking for help, rolling over and seeing Rob’s face, his snuffly snores that never bother me. Making a plan for the day, picking up the phone and being able to call him, instead of obsessively guarding my phone waiting for him to call me. Going to a function as a two parent family, resting my arms as Rob holds the 22 pound dead weight sleeping monster, making breakfast, sharing the TV, the remote, the radio stations. Those things that can be so annoying in normal are so wonderful when normal is a 2 week gift.

I adore normal, and I can’t wait for my new normal to be over, back to this old normal that I love. I do know that new normal (Rob gone) can’t hold a candle to old normal (Rob home) but I also realize that together we do have a new normal (Rob home, Max here)
We are learning to see each other as parents, not only seeing each other as spouses and I LOVE IT. Rob is amazing with Max, and an even better husband to me with Max here. He is loving, and caring, helpful, can de stress me in minutes, and strokes my hair when I am overwhelmed.

Whatever your normal is, embrace it. Don’t look back wishing for normal, when things become not normal.

Adoring normal for another week
Jesi