Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Be Still and Know that I am God

Last night, while obsessively compulsively running over a million different scenarios in my mind (all related to the opportunity below) I decided to stop fretting and go to bed. I took my Bible and notebook, and the Power of a Praying wife and headed that way after doing the temporary pseudo single mom shuffle…you know locking up the house, setting the alarm, letting the dog out, getting ready for daycare in the morning…I got to bed and started my chapter in PPW (Power of a Praying Wife is a really long title to keep retyping) but I couldn’t focus. I have been praying every night for about 15 days now for Rob but tonight I couldn’t start there.

Instead I journalled for a page or two and then just decided to pray. Earnest, fervent prayers to heaven about all things, praying for family and friends, praising for situations worked out with His favor, praying for people hurting, broken and seeking but shielded in humor. And as I prayed over this job, I was wrestling with a plethora of thoughts. The Bible says to petition God, so why do I feel guilty when seeking the desires of my heart? It’s not about me; this is about Your Kingdom. Lord, give me this opportunity, Lord protect me as you so clearly have already and guide my path. Lord, tell me what I should do, Lord what should I do? I am so qualified, I am unqualified. I probably won’t hear anything, like the million other jobs I haven’t gotten in the past, but WAIT you were protecting me from those jobs, allowing me to stay where I was to continue learning. Were you preparing me for this? Or is that just my own selfish wishful thinking?

And all I heard.

Be Still and Know that I am God.

But Lord,

Be Still and Know that I am God

But what about,

Be Still and Know that I am God

What if Lord,

Be Still and Know that I am God

Ok Lord, I get it.

I sat, still in the Lord and my peace was restored.

I picked up my Bible and read from Proverbs and then finished my section in PPW, rested and ready for whatever happens. And then I slept.

Being Still,

1 comment:

Jessica said...

Praying for you girl! I know how exciting and stressful new opportunities can be, the Lord will provide :)