Everything Medical

To say we have a lot going on right now is an understatement!

Just a small update on everyone's medical stuff.

First things first, Max has an EEG scheduled for Monday March 7th to check out his brain activity and see if there is anything abnormal that could be related to his last fall and crazy body reaction. It should be LOADS of fun since we have to restrict him to 3 hours of sleep and restrict liquids. We are praying that everything comes out clean although that will still leave us without an answer as to why his body reacts so severely sometimes. After the EEG we will have a neuro appt to discuss the results.

Tues March 27th is the scheduled date for Stella's heart surgery. We go to the hospital at 8:30AM to check in and her procedure is at 10AM. We will be at Childrens hospital with 2 great doctors so we have full faith it will be an easy surgery. She will stay overnight at the least and MAYBE 2 days at the most. My dad and stepmom are coming up to help us out all week which is a HUGE blessing! If you are unsure what I am talking about, Stella has PDA and while the hole in her heart is not growing the left part of her heart is starting to enlarge so we have to repair it!

First week of April Rob will be scheduled for his THIRD surgery on the same shoulder! He has a recurrent labral tear, a large cyst, arthiritis in the joint and something else I cannot remember. The doctor is one of the best in the state, even working on OU football players and he said its a "unique case" and they won't know what they are getting into until they get in there. Hopefully they can do a GOOD repair this time and help heal the pain that Rob is dealing with.

So that's it in medical news. The twins are teething but other than that they are perfectly healthy and we are so thankful for that! Of course Mama is hanging tough, just dealing with everyone else and their appts and ailments! Please pray for all of my sweet family that they will all go through their procedures easily and get full healing!

He is Faithful

He is.

Recently I got such an awesome reminder of that. There was something that I had been struggling with for about a year and a half. I really really wanted Rob and I to join a Life Group. We had been invited to one with a friend of mine but I work on the night they have theirs. I was so sad because I really really enjoy all of the people in their group. But it just didn't work out. Then when we were close to having Stella it just wasn't a good time. We needed to spend that time focused on our relationship first and then worry about a small group later. Being pregnant with the twins and working and being a momma to M&S and being a husband to Rob took a lot out of me last year and our schedule was packed. There just wasn't a good time to commit to a weekly group.

On top of that Rob was hesitant. Rob is an amazing leader for our family but the idea of going to someones house, who we didn't know and "sharing" was intimidating. Heck I am the extrovert here and it intimidated me! Plus it seemed like every group met on Weds nights...the night I work at the dance studio.

All I have done for the past 3-4 months is pray about it. I say that's "all" but really isn't that "everything" Prayer works friends.

Then we entered a series at our church that was ALL about connecting. There was a LG connection event that I really wanted us to attend and Stella was sick.

The next week we sat through an entire service about HOW and WHY you should join a LG and what EXCUSES were preventing it.

Are you seeing the pattern here? God was slowly beating me over the head with a 2x4! Literally within the HOUR I got a text inviting us to check out a LG. OH I wanted to but I just knew they met on Weds. NOPE they meet on Thursdays and the campus across town offers childcare. FREE childcare.

I talked it over with Rob and we decided to give it a shot. I am SO thankful we did. We really enjoyed it and felt very comfortable. I am excited to get to know the other women better and for us to enjoy this weekly time as a couple.

He is FAITHFUL. Even when things don't come in our time, or things don't seem to be working out...eventually in HIS time HE WILL MOVE. He is faithful, all the time!

Always,
Jesi

Happy Anniversary

Saturday was our 6th anniversary! We had a great day staying home with the kids and then our babysitter came over and we got to go out! On a date! Just the two of us! It was really nice to spend some one on one time together. We went and saw a movie and then tried a new restaurant. It was SO yummy. I highly recommend Signature Grill for a special occasion. Rob had tenderloin medallions with herb grilled zuchinni and the fingerling potatoes. I had the scallops with truffle cheddar broccoli and mushroom and bacon risotto. It was not calorie friendly but so good!

http://signaturegrilledmond.com/index.php

Happy 6th Anniversary to my amazing husband. It has been quite the adventure but I love you more today than I did when we got married. I know you better and I feel like we are better. I love watching you be a Dad to our crazy kids and I love that you love me.

ILYx3

Always,
Jesi

The twinsies are 3 months!

I can't believe the twins are already 3 months old! Time goes by so fast, faster and faster with each kid it seems. We celebrated by getting family pictures taken with my friend Sarah again. She is SO talented and everyone just raves about each of the pictures that she does for us. So blessed by her friendship and her talent!

Here are our little owls...

presley-left, jackson-right

Mama with the babies

The Conder Crew

September 2011

maximus owen-3.75 :)

Maximus! I can't believe you are almost FOUR! Where does the time go? This picture is SO perfectly you. You are definitely crazy and a little bit, ok a lotta bit stubborn but you are also incredibly smart and funny. Daddy and I often have to hide our laughter at the things you come up with. You are still a bad sleeper dude....but you have solved the problem by sneaking into bed with us like a little ninja. We don't even know you are there until you kick Daddy 19x in 5 minutes and he gets irritated with you. We are doing preschool at home with you and your smarts astound me! You love to learn and you love Jesus and that is all that matters to us!

stella katherine-16 months

Sweet StellaBella. I can't believe you are already 16 months old. First off you are a drama queen but we love it. You throw big ol temper tantrums with real tears and ugly looks. You are feisty but gorgeous as ms. sarah says. You are a DADDYS GIRL! Half the time you just tolerate me. :) You are still our little pipsqueak but you are getting taller. We go back to check on your PDA heart stuff soon and we know you are going to be fine. You love your babies but you REALLY love Jack-Jack. We love you and adore you, our little comedian!

presley jane-3 months

PJ, your hair and eyebrows have a reddish tint and your eyes are light but not blue. I want to call you Gingersnap but you have definitely picked up PJ as a nickname. You are very chatty with your constant gooing and cooing and you already love your daddy. You are sleeping better at night and usually wake up once to eat in the early morning. You are our sweet baby girl and we love you!

jackson gage-3 months

Jackson you are 3 months old! you are so handsome! You have dark dark hair and beautiful green/brown eyes like your daddy. you have lonnnnnng dark eyelashes. You are seriously one chill baby and you are a mama's boy already. There are times when you cry and cry but if I hold you, you just fall asleep. You are definitely owning the nickname Jack-Jack and Stella is a little bit obsessed with you. We love you little man!

The whole family

Thank you God for blessing me with an amazing husband and beautiful healthy children.

Check out more of Sarah's work HERE!

Survival Mode

Back in the saddle againnnnnnnnnnnnnn....

It's Army time. Well the Army called and my amazing husband is spending some time finishing some needed trainings. God willing they will allow him to be promoted which would be a big blessing! Both to him and his dedication to his military service and financially as well.

Meanwhile back at the ranch, we are in survival mode. Well newborn + toddler = new routine, tired mama, postpartum emotional breakdowns survival mode. It's been a crazy two weeks since Stella joined our family and so far she has proven herself to be much easier than her big brother. And the thought of Rob leaving for training didn't really phase me too much. After all he will only be gone for a very short amount of time compared to our previous deployments. And he will be home super soon. And he got to spend more time with us before he left than he did when Max was born. And...it still hit me harder than I thought.

I know LOGICALLY that this is NOT a deployment. I know logically he will be home soon and not gone for a year and we don't have to worry about his safety or foreign countries or readjustment, but dang! It's still hard to be a momma to a VERY VERY energetic 2.5 year old and a 2 week old. It's a bit much to get out of bed 7 times in less than 7 hours. It's just a lot to take in and a lot of it is emotionally trying because I feel myself reliving the experience I had when Max was born and Rob DID deploy.

So survival mode is now in place. Just like when he left when Max was 10 days old and I had to escape the house everyday for my own sanity we are going to be doing the SAME thing, this time with two in tow. Expect a lot more posts in the coming weeks, its my own form of escapism to blog and it's a great way for Rob to stay inside my head when we are seperated by the miles.

Tomorrow's survival plan
~Shopping for craft supplies for a super cool GROUP project I am a part of
   (curtailed from todays plans by the wicked hail storm we had here!)
~Stopping by Mardel to pick up the book "Five in a Row" and to let Max play with the train table.
~On the homefront-dishes and putting away the clean laundry in preparation to DO the dirty laundry

Figuring it out!
Jesi

Simple Womans Daybook

I have seen several of my blog friends post these and I think its a great easy way to keep your blog updated. So thanks to my friend Jess over at No Ordinary Piece of Clay for inspiring my post!

Outside my window... weeds, that need pulled!


I am thinking... that God continues to prove Himself faithful in providing for our needs even when things seem hard or tight.

I am thankful for... grace, forgiveness and mercy. And the next two weeks that I have with Max before Stella arrives.

From the learning room... we spent the morning at Barnes and Noble reading and playing.

From the kitchen...Taco Soup
Ingredients
1 lb Ground beef
I small onion finely diced
I green bell pepper-diced
1 Cup long grain rice-cooked to al dente in chicken stock
1 can beans
1 can diced tomatoes
1 can Rotel
4 cans water

Cook Rice to al dente subbing stock for water. Set aside. Use a small amount of oil to saute onion and bell pepper with Seasoned Salt, Pepper, Chili Powder, Ground Cumin and Tastefully Simple Fiesta Dip Mix. Add ground beef and cook completely. Drain extra grease. Add all remaining ingredients and simmer 20-30 minutes. Serve with crushed chips, sour cream or shredded cheese.

I am wearing... clothes to teach in later, black dance pants, VSA t-shirt and sweatshirt.

I am creating...a monogrammed hanging for above Stella's crib

I am going...
Monday-bank, bookstore, mall and to teach at VSA.

Tuesday-

Wednesday- Dr's appointment-37 weeks, out for sushi for my coworker Stephanies birthday, yummmmmmmm!

Thursday-

Friday- out to dinner with my army wife girls! I get to meet my deployment buddy IRL!

Saturday-Bridal Shower, maybe Saturday night church, pasta dinner with Team ArmyStrong

Sunday-Going to watch Team ArmyStrong run the relay marathon (Rob + My Army Wife Friends)

I am reading... So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore

I am hoping...That our tax refund gets here soooooooooon.

I am hearing...Maxs breathing as he falls asleep.

Around the house...Laundry and Dishes!

One of my favorite things...my husbands sweet texts.

Pictures for the week

My Love

My Sweet Boy

My Sweet Reality

My favorite boy

My favorite man

Decade

It's officially been over a decade since Rob and I met. Here are some of the highlights from the past ten years...

2000-Junior Year-dating DH, did our first Army seperation-10 weeks long, taught dance


2001-Sr. Year-got lots of scholarships-graduated HS taught dance


2002-in college having fun, taught dance at VSA, worked 3 jobs


2003-DH deployed to Afghanistan served as President of my sorority, taught dance-VSA




2004-DH deployed to Afghanistan served as President of my sorority, DH came home and proposed in November taught dance at VSA



2005-Rob's grandmother passes in January, graduated with BA in Marketing in May, unemployed 3 months, got "dream" job, got married in September, started job day after honeymoon, quit teaching dance



2006-promoted to GM/Lead Event Coordinator-worked myself into exhaustion, Kera Don got married and Savanah got married.







2007-got pg with Max in Jan, found out in March/April that DH would deploy around my due date, had Max, DH deployed to Iraq 10 days later, Julie got married











2008-survived deployment, had spiritual renewal/awakening, started writing my book, DH came home, started TS business





2009-quit job, promoted 3 times with TS, started working PT at VSA, sah with Max got pg with Stella, Max turns 2!











It's been quite the decade! Next post up, hopes and dreams for the next ten years.
Love,
Jesi

Spoiling Stella and Mama

Did I mention what we are having...




I know I can hardly believe it myself. I told Rob that I had always been so assured that we would have all boys or at least SEVERAL boys before a girl that I was a little bewildered that we were already getting our sweet girl! After much deliberation we finally settled on a name and I ADORE it. Her name will be Stella Katherine although I do intend on calling her Stella Kate in that oh so southern fashion of using first and middle names together. Katherine is also the first name of one of my dearest friends although we traded her "C" for a K. We certainly hope that she grows up to be as special as Catherine with a C. Several people have been poo pooing our name choice but I just know that once she is here they will realize that it is her perfect name. Stella means Star and Katherine means Pure and Virginal. Our pure star is growing well and we are feeling incredibly lucky and blessed to have another healthy child on the way to meet our mad Max.

So today Daddy already started a tradition of spoiling sweet Stella and this mommy. He cleaned up the house and did all the dishes which are my absolute LEAST favorite thing to do in the world, especially when pregnant. Then he sent me out for a pedicure and it was an hour and a half long and full of all sorts of smell goods and feel goods. After that I got to pick up my favorite lunch ever which is the Trio from Inspirations Tea room. It is SO good and my favorite girly food. I had homemade creamy tomato soup, a chicken salad croissant, a salad with raspberry viniagrette, and their fabulous berry scones with heaps of lemon curd. I even got my very favorite iced vanilla tea to go and it's so stinkin good.



It was a wonderful Saturday and I am so so thankful that I have such an awesome husband who is already spoiling Stella and I. I love to think about how much she is going to have him wrapped around his finger.

Ramblings

I haven’t written in so long I feel like I forgot what to do for a second. To be honest it has been a LONG 6 weeks notice at the theatre. There were days that I felt like I was still never leaving. I tried really hard to do the honorable thing and stick it out, doing the best that I could. In that time they finally hired my replacement. While he isn’t who I would have chosen I have trained him, prepared him, tested him and left him with as much information as I possibly could. And that is all that I wanted these past few weeks, was to leave the door open with a positive ending. Something my friend said to me one time reverberated in my head, her husband reminded her that when she left her job she wanted to leave it on the best terms. Not because she was bitter and rude, or left behind a mess but that she wanted to leave them remembering how great it was when she was there.

Despite the difficulty in having such an attitude of peace I managed to scrape through these past few weeks. I walked through the theatre today and looked around. It’s so much different than it was when I started 4 years ago. The lights have changed, the bar is different, and the room shines with a granditude that was once missing. There are floating memories throughout the space, escalated by the blue jazz pouring out of the new speakers. I see weddings and parties, dancing and laughter, friends, hugs, tears, bad memories, good memories, hellos and goodbyes. I remember the high I felt when I first started. I remember the lows I felt when I didn’t think I could work there another day.

Two years ago I felt God speaking to me about my job. He told me that I had stood long enough at this mountain. At the time I thought it was my time to go. Two years later I understand more of what He was teaching me. I was done standing at the base of the mountain. It was time to climb. I cannot say that I always gave 100% of myself to this place but I am ok with that. I gave 100% of myself to God in that moment. I forgot about what I wanted. I waited because it was what HE laid out for our family. I hung in there through the early morning events, the arguments and the meeting of a lifetime when I was told I lacked passion. I waited because He kept shutting the door to other opportunities. The timing was never right, the situation was never right and in THAT moment this is where I was supposed to be.

FOUR years after I started, NOW it is time for me to move into the light. In my sacrifice and prayer and the hidden desires of my heart, I hid in Him. He and only He has brought us to this place. He has confirmed my decision to leave and be home with Max over and over again. We have been financially blessed in my last days here. He has provided OVER what we need. He has gifted me with a husband who is financially wise and careful but who believes fully in the tithe that provides for our family. He has held me in his grasp and danced me back to my calling. Mother, Wife, Sister, Friend, Teacher, Helper, Encourager. I cannot think of anywhere else I want to be than this place where I feel joy and peace at submitting to his will. It is glorious and the glory belongs to God.

Always,
Jesi
Psalms 30:11-12
You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.
You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy, that I might sing praises to you and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever!

Scrambled

My brain feels like scrambled eggs this week. Could be that it's ahem, that time of the month. Could be that Max is quickly entering into :the terrible twos: or that Rob is getting very sick with a head cold/sinus infection thing.

Could be that my day job is getting exceedingly busy and it's really hard to be here 100% when I long not to be. Could be that every Monday morning I walk into an office filled with negative nelly's and a cloud of despair threatens to take over my mood.

Could be that my heart is heavy thinking about Stellan. Sweet baby who was healed after serious heart problems in the womb, who is now in the hospital unexpectedly, dealing with the same heart problems once again.

Could be that I started reading Every Thought Captive and my thought life is addled between the thoughts that come unknowingly and the desire to rid myself of such negative thoughts, when I know where they come from. Could be that it is so hard to grasp the line of striving to be like Christ and accepting that NO MATTER WHAT our relationship with Him is never based on performance. He loves me the same, yesterday, today and tomorrow, regardless of my actions.

Could be that I stayed up too late the past few nights and was woken up by hail beating so hard on our windows I couldn't hear Rob speaking right next to me.

Or it could just be that Max woke up at 5:15AM and in :terrible errr terrific two: fashion decided that was a dandy time to get up for the day and then proceeded to MELT DOWN all morning long.

Could be.
Jesi

Worn Out

Exhausted, Tired, Just Plain Worn Out

Let's get a little perspective on last week...
Saturday-TS Party, stayed too late, had lots of fun
Sunday-TS Party, stayed awhile, had lots of fun, came home tired
Monday-got up before baby (wha?), woke him, took Max to allergy testing
Monday-AM-Cursed Allergies, discovered that Max is allergic to EVERYTHING except food
Monday-cursed weather as we got a lovely winter storm with black ice
Brought home baby, filled with meds, lazed around the house in comfies
Monday night-BABES was cancelled due to weather, dangit, needed that inspiration, lost two pounds, can I keep it off this week
Tuesday-Daycare is closed, split day with Rob, morning with crazy baby, afternoon with crazy work
Tuesday-Noon-went to work, discovered that I don't understand why I work at my job, cried, got over it, complained, came home
Tuesday night-ahhh relaxation, cannot sleep, have to be at work by 5:30, bad roads, tossed and turned for all 5 hours
Wednesday-Woke up at 4:30AM, GAG. Got to work at 5:30AM, worked too long, felt slightly better about work
Thursday-got up before baby again (wha?) took Max to school (open, thank ya Jesus) got ready for work trip (WHY)
Thursday-drove to Dallas, got Gap jeans on sale, arrived, had lots of sushi and asian food, yum...wine and sake too. tired.
Sat in 3 hour meeting, discussing goals, challenges and areas where I need help. Help...not fun, meeting went well.
Tired-got ready with Bambi and Juicy, teased B's hair into Dallas hair, laughed a lot, good times
Thursday Night-Went to Dinner at the famous Nobu...decided against more Asian, had a very small portion of yummy short ribs, waited for ever as everyone else finished 7 courses of Asian, stole food from Juicy, danced at the table, laughed with Charlies Angels
Went to bed TOO late
Friday-Got up too early. Went to SPA. Thank you Owner for this treat. Rubbed all over with hot stones. Yum.
Breakfast, lunch planned-ASIAN. GAG. No more asian food.
Got lost in Dallas, went to Central Market=Heaven, rushed home in traffic
Friday Night-TS Party, girls drinking lots of sangria. Funny, Stayed too late, had lots of fun. TIRED.
Saturday Morning-Got up early with baby, give Rob a break for being a single parent this week. Cuddle Max, missed him A LOT. Went to Classen for Chinese New Year, the MIL and SIL wanted....ASIAN FOOD. GAG. No more asian food!!!!!
Saturday Night-TS Party, stayed WAY too late, had LOTS of fun!
Sunday-Woke up early, slept on couch. Finally got around, went to work, early. Sat through a repeat 3 hour managers meeting. Felt better about my job, for now. Coworkers wanted to go out to lunch, they wanted...ASIAN FOOD. NO THANK YOU.
Went home, ate lunch (mexican, thank you Jesus!), took Baby (give Rob another break from singleparenthood) to Target, it's packed and they are sold out of Velveeta (wha?)Eavesdropped, found 2 boxes of Mexican Velveeta, snagged it and ran out.
Sunday Night-Enjoyed dinner, clean house and the Superbowl. Laughed too hard with Codie.
Fell asleep, early, finally, felt the warmth of Rob, thankful for my snoozing baby across the house. Warm dog on feet.
Tired, exhausted, worn out.

I need some BABES, some Jesus and a good ol fashioned BREAK.
Always,
Jesi

Everything Always Works Out

It's Robs favorite saying.

Thursday night, after an arduous decision process that included me acting like a meany head for more than a few moments, Rob decided NOT to go to the Moore Police Department tryout.

To be honest, I was disappointed that he didn't go give it a shot. But he was firm in feeling like it wasn't the right job or the right time. His current company has offered him a raise and a 6AM-3PM schedule. He is very focused on completing his degree and after spending so much time away from us he isn't too keen on jumping into a new and very crazy schedule just yet.

Being the loverly wife that I am I gave up the fight and decided to do what God wants me to do.

Trust my husband, trust his leadership for our family and believe that God will provide for us in the way that He knows best.

Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers! We still needed them and we still do!
Much Love and Happy Pre-Thanksgiving!
Always,
Jesi

Todays the Day

Rob tests tonight at the Moore Police Department. Please join us in praying that God's will for our family will come to fruition in the coming days.

Much Love!
Always,
Jesi

Open Windows

Open Windows

You know the saying...when God shuts a door, He opens a window.

I am sitting here feeling the breeze of open windows.

I fully admit worrying about paying our mortgage and making it work seriously sent me into panic mode. But for today, I feel the breeze of windows He is opening and I am at peace.

We will make it through, somehow, someway. I stopped the other day and thought two things.
1) As I laid in bed evaluating what things we would cut from the budget I never considered cutting out our tithes. THAT is a good thing. Because I don’t want to start to imagine the hole we would dig if we started being stingy with the money we are given on loan from our Father.
2) After I realized (1) I thought about how much money we tithe and what bills might be paid with that money instead. Nahhh...so not going down that road.

But the other night, my amazing friend Summer told me that Rob should work for the railroad. The funny thing is that she just called it the railroad. So when I relayed the story, I just called it the railroad too. Apparently if you have police or military experience you can provide security for the “railroad” and make a lot of money and get your babies covered at 100%! Summer works for an OBGYN, thus the baby coverage part of this story.

Now Rob and I laughed and then promptly googled “police and security railroad jobs” Ok, that is what HE googled...I googled “working for the railroad”

We didn’t find much on the railroad, not really our window. What we did do was open up JobsOK.com and start looking around. Did you know that those mall security guys get paid squat? You probably already knew that.

What I did notice was a listing from the Moore Police Department. Hiring. Now some of you may know that Rob is in school for a Police Science degree...so he skipped over it. After all he is still IN SCHOOL. But I made him go back. We opened it, no details. Please go to the City of Moore website. Tab Open, City of Moore. And we read that they are hiring, for several positions, that in order to interview you need to show up on Thursday, November 20th for a 1.5 mile run, a sprint, and a physical test. If you pass the physical test, you will pay $15 for the written test. Benefits, salary, college tuition reimbursement....etc. etc. etc, only 30 hours of college credit required. Guess who has over 30 hours of college credit?

The moral of the story? Maybe God shut a door for us so He could open this window, a job that Rob actually wants to do, allowing him to start his career, finish school, feel financially and personally satisfied....maybe.

I covet your prayers over this, a million times more than when you prayed for my job opportunity (you know when God slammed the door, Ouch) There is something about praying for my husband that makes me fervent in seeking Him.

So pray for Rob, as he prepares over the next week. And tests next Thursday. And puts himself out on the line for something he would really love. And for me too, as I sit in the breeze of an open window, remembering to remind myself to remember that God is ALWAYS faithful.
Always,
Jesi

The Storms never stop

Sometimes it becomes easy to find your identity in a season. I fully admit that I found a certain identity in myself as I survived our last deployment. I clung more closely to the life of a military wife, a military mommy because that is what I was living. Day in and day out, I breathed it, wrote it, cried it, barely survived it, praised through it, prayed my face off and made it through.

So when our deployment ended I knew that my mindset would change. That I would make an unconscious shift back to just living day by day. Working, breathing, living. I wrote about it last time. And this weekend, sitting in church I was reminded that I love my God. Love Him more than anything else.

But even in the seasons of joy, the storms are never stopped. There is someone out there, unworthy of my words, who seeks to kill and destroy us. To scare us into a submission that causes us to run, to flee from our God. He uses the challenges of life, of the economy, of our world to frighten us into a fearful mindset where we are ravaged by the storms.

It's storming in Oklahoma. The wind is whipping through the trees, the rain is pouring down and the water is rising. The storm is taking over the beauty of fall. And I feel every second of it in my soul. Even when we are still in celebration mode, when I can still look over at Rob, in awe that he is still here, the storms are starting to rage. Rob was SUPPOSED to have a 10 month military order that put him working at the armory. And making near the same amount of money. And we found out last week that it is gone. No longer available. Over before it started.

So where does that leave us? In the start of a small storm, praying, tithing and BELIEVING that God will provide. I debated even sharing it with anyone, wanting to stand so strong in my faith that I would just wait for the praise report and then tell everyone around us how good our God is. But I decided that being on the receiving end of your prayers *again* was not such a bad thing.

I admit, my heart was getting battered by the start of this storm. My creativity and brain spinning the surge much farther than it has even gone. And I was stopped firmly in the midst of my meltdown by first my husband, who assured me that everything would work out, and my God, who reminded me that He was still here, today, tomorrow, always the same, always protecting me, always looking out for us, always spinning the universe in perfect working order and that HE could handle this storm just fine.

So pray for us please. Before the storm takes over my mindset again, and I find myself sitting in the rain.
Always,
Jesi

Life Takes Over

When I am running around getting ready in the morning and I never pray...Life takes over. I smile at Rob as he helps me, packing the bags, making me lunch, kissing me goodbye through the car window. Waking up before he has to. Life takes over.

When I get in the car and I think about everything I have to do. I drop off Max, I avoid him crying as I leave. I get to work, rushing in a few minutes late. I check my emails, check the blogs, and check my favorite websites. I reply to customers, I check voicemails; I deal with crazy brides who make me want to pull my hair out.

Life Takes Over.

I leave as soon as I can. I relish in Max seeing me as I pick him up. I kiss his face and hug him tight, I pack his bags and we head home. Or to church, or to BABES, or to dinner with family or friends...but mostly home and Life takes over.

We eat, we play, and we take a bath. We see each other, we laugh, and we do the things that families do in the weeknights of fall. We take our family walk/jog. We retire to the couch, or the computer, or the video game, or to each other.

My life is taking over my time with God. Again. Haven’t I been here many times before? Stumbled away one slow step, one slow fade from brilliant to tarnished? One small choice of how I spend my time, what I do, who I am, who I want to be.

Life takes over so easily. I love my life, oh how I love every moment in those days. I love seeing my husbands face in the morning. I love hugging my sweet baby before the morning light awakens us. I love running around like a crazy woman, taking on way too much but relishing in the frenetic energy my crazy life creates.

Even though I love it all, I love my God more.

God Take Over.

Birthday Party Pictures

Watch out, this Monkey is turning One!

Monkey Cupcakes, YUM!

My new ride from Grandpa Lloyd and Grandma JuJu!

Everyone is singing Happy Birthday to Me?!?!

How you doin? Max's future wife, Cailin and his proud Godfather, Drew.

Learning how to play football...and learning how to punt.

Opening Presents with Mommy and Daddy! Thanks Yo!

All tuckered out with Granny Lisa

Max had an awesome birthday! We had a pavillion at the park and LOTS of friends and family came to celebrate. He had a monkey themed party and it was lots of fun! There were even monkey cupcakes and a hanging monkey too. Max can't wait until he turns 2 but we can.

Always, Jesi

Math

I never said I was good at math but here we go...

One case of croup
Two red inner ears
A few new teeth (hiding amongst the gums)
Lots of drool
1 Doctors visit
+
Tylenol
Motrin
Robitussin DM
Vicks SALVE (as Coach G calls it)
1 Cool Mist Humidifier
2 prescriptions
=
4 middle of the night wake ups
30 minutes of cartoons at 3:30AM
2 very tired parents
1 mommy with a headache
1 amazing husband and Daddy who took the last shift
and 1 very tired little boy named Maximus

I never did like Math.
Always,
Jesi

The Finale

Well, I know my loyal secret readers are eagerly awaiting my Homecoming story so I came out of my reclusive fog to share a bit with you.

Monday morning, I woke up at the crack of dawn, after just a few hours sleep. Max and I decided that 5:30AM would do just fine; after all it was finally here. We were just hours from picking up Daddy!

Off we went, coffee in hand, my parents driving along, and multiple cameras in tow. I decided to wear a cute outfit, new jeans, and a favorite shirt. No dress for me, I couldn’t seem to wrap my head around a dress and heels at the crack of dawn. We got to the college where we were supposed to wait, and wait we did.

Rob’s aunt, his sister and some of his friends made it too. All sitting, and waiting, and laughing at a sleepy Max as my stomach flipped flopped with the nerves that always show up. Finally we heard what we wanted to know, “your soldiers are on the other side of this wall” and the crowd erupted in cheers.

And in they marched, some full of pride and boasting as they waved and smiled, some marching in, just another day to them. Rob walked in finally, chewing gum and looking somber...my tired love. Tired of waiting, tired of travel and tired of dealing with inconsiderate guys who don’t understand how to process homecoming.

Tired and somber, doesn’t matter to me. He looked wonderful, in the uniform and boots that have graced his slimmer figure for months on end. We listened to lots of important reminders, announcements and some lovely accolades but I didn’t hear a thing. I craned and strained to see my love through the crowd, Max on my hip, sleepy from his early wake up call.

Finally, a call to attention and release to their families, a salute for a job well done and off they went. We crowded the floor, eager to see one another and remember how it feels to be together again. I caught Rob’s eye before I touched him. So I waited as we pushed through the sea of chaos and finally.

He was there, I was there, Max was there. A simple hug, a simple smile, a simple kiss. And a lot of pictures.

Hello again, you’re home. And it was wonderful.

I wish I could say the next few hours and days were filled with extraordinary moments but they weren’t. They were filled with tender embraces, laughter and normalcy, creeping back in minute by minute. We are in transition now. Remembering how to be together, reminding ourselves that this is our normal and figuring out how to function as three instead of two. So far, smooth sailing. But readjustment can be scary...because everything that should be the same has changed and things are different now. You have to learn what that means, and you realize that you are entering yet another, New Normal. We are on our way...to our new normal. Taking it day by day, remembering to embrace the changes and cherish the moments...the simplest and most mundane moments, in remembrance of what we lost and what we have to gain. And even in the moments where we question everything that has happened, are you really home? Is this temporary? Is it really over? The smallest whisper, “I love you and I am so glad to be home” makes everything perfect.

For we are on our way, taking it day by day.
Always,
Jesi

8 Hours and 34 minutes

If I was a counting woman, I would tell you that there are 8 hours and 34 minutes until we get to see Rob...But I'm TOTALLY not counting.

Ok, I am, and make it 33 minutes and 8 hours.

We got to go to another Homecoming Ceremony tonight for Rob's friend Tony. It was incredible, as is every Homecoming, to see families reunited after a long year apart from one another. This life, where we volunteer to give away a precious part of ourselves is never easy.

Even as you welcome your soldier home, you can sense that as much as they hate being away from you, this is a part of who they are, the very threads that form them into the person you love so much. It is a part of their fiber to give of themselves.

It's scary, and admirable, and wonderful and terrible, mixed together like the colors of their dessert uniforms.

Back to counting...8 hours and 30 minutes.

Maybe I should try and sleep...when I awake he will almost be home.
Always,
Jesi