He makes me laugh

This kid...

Me- "Max STOP SCREAMING, how many times a day do I HAVE to tell you that?"

Max-"10 or 11"

Me-"I need to tell you 10 or 11 times?"

Max-"Yep that sounds about right"

Touche' Max, Touche.

A Month of Thankfulness!

Tomorrow we start November and we are inching closer to Thanksgiving! I can't believe how quickly time seems to be going by this year. The twins will be 5 months old on November 7th, Stella is 18 months and Max is FOUR!

Something that I think is really important to Rob and I in our parenting is teaching our children to be grateful. There are SO MANY adults and kids today that have a HUGE sense of entitlement and it drives me bananas. Instead of being grateful for the blessings that we are given we are constantly on the hunt for more or unsatisfied, even when our every need is filled. We are not perfect and can definitely be guilty of this as well!

In an effort to remember just how blessed we are as a family, we are going to be celebrating November with a Month of Thankfulness and Gratefulness! We plan to show our appreciation for those around us with random acts of kindness and little things that just say THANK YOU!

Some ideas that I have for the month are...

1. Make treats and take them to the fire house down the street. These firefighters are the ones who responded to our scary 911 call with Max last year.
2. Send treats to Mommy and Daddy's coworkers.
3. Give a $5 gas card to someone.
4. Leave a $1 by the coffee machine at a gas station.
5. Donate our old clothes to friends and others.
6. Donate toys we don't play with anymore.
7. Turkey our neighbors with a surprise on their doorstep.
8. Visit the Oklahoma Food Bank and donate canned goods and $ for meals.
9. Pick up trash somewhere.
10. Take a treat to our LifeKids Director at church.
11. Give an offering at church.
12. Make dinner for friends.
13. Take old towels and treats to the local animal shelter.
14. Write a Thank You card to a friend.
15. Send a TS gift to someone just to say we love you.
16. Leave candy for the mailman.
17. Adopt a kid for Christmas.
18. Leave change on a vending machine.
19. Treat our sitter to a sonic drink.
20. Take a coffee to our MDO director.
21. Bring breakfast for our MDO teachers.
22. Leave nice notes on bathroom or dressing room mirrors for the ladies.
23. Make a military care package for a deployed soldier.
24. Take a dinner to a military wife.
25. Pay for the person behind us somewhere.
26. Pray for a friend.
27. Call our grandparents just to say Hi.
28. Tip the teenage boys who helped us take our groceries out.
29. Give a gift to our siblings!
30. Adopt a family for Christmas.

Other little things we want to do are be kind, smile at strangers, teach Max to open doors for ladies and the elderly, put carts back at stores, let someone cut in line, give more hugs, say Thank You to everyone, complain less, laugh more and pray often!

I don't know that we will get close to doing everything on our list but we are excited to show others that we are thankful for them!

Our month was inspired by this!
http://ticklestogiggles.blogspot.com/2010/05/my-birthday-was-awesome.html

The twinsies are 3 months!

I can't believe the twins are already 3 months old! Time goes by so fast, faster and faster with each kid it seems. We celebrated by getting family pictures taken with my friend Sarah again. She is SO talented and everyone just raves about each of the pictures that she does for us. So blessed by her friendship and her talent!

Here are our little owls...

presley-left, jackson-right

Mama with the babies

The Conder Crew

September 2011

maximus owen-3.75 :)

Maximus! I can't believe you are almost FOUR! Where does the time go? This picture is SO perfectly you. You are definitely crazy and a little bit, ok a lotta bit stubborn but you are also incredibly smart and funny. Daddy and I often have to hide our laughter at the things you come up with. You are still a bad sleeper dude....but you have solved the problem by sneaking into bed with us like a little ninja. We don't even know you are there until you kick Daddy 19x in 5 minutes and he gets irritated with you. We are doing preschool at home with you and your smarts astound me! You love to learn and you love Jesus and that is all that matters to us!

stella katherine-16 months

Sweet StellaBella. I can't believe you are already 16 months old. First off you are a drama queen but we love it. You throw big ol temper tantrums with real tears and ugly looks. You are feisty but gorgeous as ms. sarah says. You are a DADDYS GIRL! Half the time you just tolerate me. :) You are still our little pipsqueak but you are getting taller. We go back to check on your PDA heart stuff soon and we know you are going to be fine. You love your babies but you REALLY love Jack-Jack. We love you and adore you, our little comedian!

presley jane-3 months

PJ, your hair and eyebrows have a reddish tint and your eyes are light but not blue. I want to call you Gingersnap but you have definitely picked up PJ as a nickname. You are very chatty with your constant gooing and cooing and you already love your daddy. You are sleeping better at night and usually wake up once to eat in the early morning. You are our sweet baby girl and we love you!

jackson gage-3 months

Jackson you are 3 months old! you are so handsome! You have dark dark hair and beautiful green/brown eyes like your daddy. you have lonnnnnng dark eyelashes. You are seriously one chill baby and you are a mama's boy already. There are times when you cry and cry but if I hold you, you just fall asleep. You are definitely owning the nickname Jack-Jack and Stella is a little bit obsessed with you. We love you little man!

The whole family

Thank you God for blessing me with an amazing husband and beautiful healthy children.

Check out more of Sarah's work HERE!

Pudding Party

Instant Pudding

+

Random Kitchen Utensils

+

Permission to Make a Mess

=

Happy Kids

The joy of teaching kids ANYTHING is that they learn through play!
Always,
Jesi

Presley and Jackson are 2 months old!!

Presley Jane
11 pounds
21 inches
25th percentile height
50th percentile on head circumfrence
50th percentile on weight

Presley you are 2 months old! You are eating 4-5 ounces every 3 hours and you still wake up 2-3 times per night. You are a drama queen and it makes us laugh. You SCREAM over the smallest stuff. You are just starting to coo and smile at us and we love it. I think you are going to be a Daddys girl just like your big sister. You love to be swaddled tight and we found a paci you actually like. You are a character and cute as a button. You have a reddish hint to your hair and your eyebrows and light eyes...is it possible we are having a ginger?! Genetics are so funny. We love you PJ!

Jackson Gage
13.5 pounds
23 inches
50th percentile height
50th percentile on head circumfrence
90th percentile on weight     hehehe

Jackson Gage you are 2 months old! You are a HOSS! You are such a big boy and it makes mommy laugh. You seem like our biggest boy yet but I think its just because you are a little shorter than brother was at this age. You are so calm and peaceful and you love to just hang out and chill. We love that about you since pj is the dramatic one. You rarely cry and you are easily soothed. You eat 6 ounces every 3-4 hours and you only wake up 1x per night. You have gorgeous hazel eyes and olive skin and DARK hair. Mama calls you a little Kardashian baby. Rock on little buddy, we love you!

Never Say Never

A lesson I REALLY need to learn.

I love looking back and seeing how God can bring things full circle. There are so many times when I have said "never will I" and  God has said "oh really?"

When I was young I never understood stay at home moms. My own mom worked full time and did an awesome job being a mom and working. I didn't really understand WHY you would go to college, get your degree and then "just" stay home with kids. It flat out didn't make sense to me.

me as a working mom

After Max was born I understood why there were women that chose to be stay at home moms. But I never wanted to be one. It took a few years of listening, prayer, job changes and pressing into God to desire it for myself. It's not always easy and it's a financial sacrifice to live on 1.5 incomes but I truly feel it's where HE wanted me. I quit my job when we just had Max. Little did we know that just a short 2 years later we would have not 1 more child but 3 more children. God was lining out HIS plan before we ever knew what was gonna hit us! Never say Never.

working as a stay at home mom

Twins, twins, oh my sweet twins. I cannot tell you how many times I made joking but cutting remarks about twins! I would laugh and say "If I ever have twins I am giving one away!" Of course I meant it as a joke! Because I never in a million years imagined we would have twins. Never say Never.

would you give one of these sweet things away? Me either!

School, school, blessed School. I have NEVER wanted to homeschool. I have lots of friends who do an awesome job at it. Not me. I have several friends who are organized and involved and love it and the whole time I am thinking "that is really great for them but never for me"

Funny story...Max is one of the kids who will have to wait until he is practically SIX before kindergarten because of the birthday cutoff in our town. SIX! He is a smart cookie and we did 2 days per week of Mothers Day Out last year and treated it like preschool. This year because we suddenly have four kids they will only be going on Thursdays so I can go work at the dance studio. We don't have the $$$ to put him in a private preschool and most of them are absurd schedules anyways. I have no desire to pack up 4 small children to drop him off for 2 hours and then turn around and do it again. No thank you!

ready for school last year

So I picked up a bunch of pre-k workbooks and some writing tools so that we could start some preschool work at home. So the other morning I asked him if he wanted to do some school? "I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOOOOOOOOL" Max is a homebody. He is very social and LOVES playing with other kids but he LOVES being at home. I reminded him we had school stuff at home. "HOMESCHOOL? YAY!" He yells. I busted out laughing. God loves to get me everytime. I would have the one kid who requests to be homeschooled.

can you believe this kid loves home?

No, I am not commiting to being a homeschooler. But we are going to do Preschool at Home this year. I just feel like Max is MORE than ready and needs to start doing SOME structured work in tracing, adding, sight words. My friend over at The Ruby Zebra is a GREAT homeschool mom so I plan to pick her brain a little since she did preschool last year with Ms.B. I stumbled across this preschool set up so that is what we are going to be doing for the year amongst lots of play and lots of babies! Max is pretty convinced he is a Rockstar and I love that it is very scripture focused so I think it will be a good match for some "school" with Mama and Max. If I only do preschool with all four of our kids that is still FOUR kids that can get good use out of some planning and directed activities.

Little stuff, Big Stuff.

I will  never...I would never...that's not for me. God can't, God won't, God would never. God CAN, God WILL, God MIGHT! Over time God can change your heart and your mind to new things! Never say Never!

Always,
Jesi~not ready to call myself a homeschooler~haha

Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Yall might look at this picture and SEE cute crying babies.

I look at this picture and I can HEAR cute crying babies, even though they are sleeping peacefully. ~forthenext3minutesatleast~

Always,

Jesi

Ya Gotta Love Beth Moore

I have always wanted to be good at journaling. But I'm not. I start and then I stop and then I lose the journal. And then I find it 2 years later and throw it away. I am drawn to cute notebooks and stationary but then it just takes up space in our already cluttered house.

When we first brought home the twins every day was a challenge. I would wake up in the morning and I felt like I had to mentally plan out my battle plan of surviving 4 small children. I needed a pick me up, a morning OOMPH to get me going and I knew what I really needed was Gods Word. So I started looking for a good morning devotional but nothing really caught my eye.

I stumbled upon this devotional and I instantly thought it would be a good match. It's a devotional and journal in one which is exactly what I was looking for. The devotions are just 2 pages but insightful and thought provoking. They include scripture and point you to areas to read in your own Bible. It was perfect. Lo and behold it was written by the southern queen of bible study Ms. Beth Moore. Ya Gotta Love Beth Moore!

It's been a few weeks and I am really enjoying it. Its based on her book Get Out of That Pit and really focuses on Psalms 40. I love that it really emphasizes how God will provide for us and that our struggles are not in vain.

Most importantly it is biblically sound and its the perfect way to start your day as a busy mama.

Always,
Jesi

Twin Pictures

Don't you know that twin pics make you go all squishy baby voiced?

My friend Sarah is AMAZINGLY talented. She is starting up her photography business and took these pics of Jackson and Presley when they were just 5 days old. Aren't they gorgeous?

Sarah is seriously the baby whisperer. I have never met someone so calm, collected and easy with newborns. She is just PEACE. She can shush and lay her hand on them and just sit there calmly until they are ready. Photographing newborns is no easy task, its a hard job! But she obviously enjoys it because her work is the proof in the pudding.

Here are our little darlings.

Isn't she amazing?! Thank you Sarah! We are so thankful for your kindness and talent in documenting such a special time in our family!

Check out Sarahs website HERE!

Always,  Jesi

Cloth Diapering 3 under 2-Part 3 Laundry

It's a poopy job but somebody has to do it.

Here's my take on poop and diapers.

Poop is poop. No matter how you deal with poop, it's still poop and it's still gross. It's POOP.

So how is cloth diapering and dealing with poop?
Well, If you have a tiny baby and they are breastfed it is water soluable and not that much in quanity after the first couple weeks so you just throw the whole diaper or insert or prefold in the diaper pail and wash. No big deal. If they are formula fed like my tinies then they say you need to get most of the poop off before you wash. I don't breastfeed but even if I did, I would want to get most of the poop off anyways!

So when I change a pee diaper I put on a new cover and prefold. I take the dirty prefold still in the cover and toss the prefold into our diaper pail in the laundry room. I hang the cover up and let it air out to use again (so long as its not poopy, obviously!) Now when its poop, I take it into the bathroom and use a wipe (I use disposable wipes although there are cloth wipes and merits to both!) to toss the poop into the toilet and flush. less stink and less poop ya know? Again, take it to the pail and wash when ready. It's REALLY not that big of a deal, like I said Poop is Poop.

Diaper Pail-there are some crazy people out there who spend big bucks on a "special cloth diaper pail" Yeah whatever. Anything that traps air like a diaper genie or a special pail gets STINKY FAST! Gross! I use a flip lid tall trash can ($9) with a Planet Wise Pail Liner ($19) I have two liners. Everytime I wash diapers I wash the liner that was being used. To keep my pail FRESH I mix baking soda and a few drops of Young Living Oils Lavendar Essential Oil and sprinkle it in the bottom of the pail and liner. Thats just optional and smells nice!

Am I a cloth diaper freak and a disposable hater? Heck NO! I used disposables on Max and Stella and still use them on all 4 kids. Because I CD to save money I try really hard not to buy diapers. But we were given tons as gifts so yes, we use them! We don't impose our cloth diapering onto the nursery workers at church or the teachers at Mothers Day Out. We use disposables. If we are out and about a LOT we use disposables. If 4 kids are screaming at me and I grab a disposable, I use a disposable! Can you tell I am laid back about this people?

As for WASHING! This is why cloth diapering made me a laudry freak...I stay on top of my laundry. If you know me, you know thats kind of a big deal. MANY people wash their diapers every few days. I am sort of freakish about it and wash every day or every other day. It take 1 minute to throw a load in and nothing is easier to put away than diapers. Because I am always doing laundry I stay on top of all my other laundry too!

If you are looking into cloth diapers you might see a lot of complicated wash routines. Mine is not. But I use all cotton and hemp so natural fibers that clean easier. Our covers are PUL but they can take a laundry beating too!

I use the dial on my washer (we have a top loader btw) to go to the Cold Rinse/Hot Wash option. This cold rinse gets rid of the residue on the diapers and hot wash is sanitary. Ours does not get SUPER hot so I don't worry about my covers getting damaged. I throw in some original tide powder (this is discontinued so we will switch to original tide liquid) and let the water dissolve it. Then I throw in everything in the pail, being sure to stick down my velcro on my covers really well. That's it. When its done, I hang the covers to dry and toss all the diapers in the dryer. It's really not hard. And like I said, laundry is a poopy job but somebody has to do it.

For the record, I find dealing with your average stomach bug and vomit FAR grosser than dealing with cloth diapers!

Twins 1 Month Stats

They are both doing great!

Presley is doing better on soy formula, less spitting and more poop, LOL! She is up to 8.8 pounds (8 lbs at 2 weeks) and still just 20 inches long (19.5 at birth/2 weeks)

Now JACK JACK is our chunkybutt! Holy moly, that kid can eat 6 ounces in a sitting! WHAT?! Are you ready for it? He weighed in at NINE.NINE!!! Nine pounds, Nine ounces!! He was only SEVEN pounds 2 weeks ago!! He is also up to 21 3/4 inches (20 at birth)

If you think my hands are full you should see my van!

remember this next time someone says "Wow! I bet you have your hands full!"

Seeing Ms. A our PA

3 Weeks Old, Still so tiny

Home Sweet Home

It's our first week with me staying at home with Max. I have to say that so far I am loving it! Today he was a challenge for a good part of the late morning/early afternoon but overall I still love being home with him and working on making our house a home. It's nice to catch up on housework and get things organized. My dining room table is actually cleared of clutter and sewing stuff. My dishes are done and waiting to be unloaded. Laundry is a different story but we are working on it. I know those seem like small things but they are things I always struggled to keep up with when I was working full time! After a long day at work I didn't want to CLEAN my house! Now I just squeeze it in throughout the day.

We also started our Toddler Homeschooling this week. Max will go to public schools when he hits kindergarten but since he is accustomed to the structure of school I wanted to incorporate some learning into our week. This week we are learning about the Jungle, the letter B, the number 2 and the color green. It's been fun so far. We have gone on a Zoo Trip with new friends to see the Jungle animals, watched the Jungle Book movie, read our monkey and animal books, waterpainted, played with bubbles, made Monkey Munch and colored with green crayons and markers.

It's such a blessing to be home and get to do these fun things with Max. It will be an adjustment to our life and schedule but I feel confident that this is God's place for me right now. And there is no where else I would rather be than in His place.
Always,
Jesi

Home "Schooling"

I have 25 days left at work, not that I am counting or anything. But in my “spare” time I started working on a learning plan for Max for the next year. Since he is so used to the structure of daycare and let’s be honest, he is quite the energetic kiddo and needs lots of activities before he melts into a puddle at the door crying, “Outside, Outside!” I thought it might be a good idea to have a plan for our days together.

And I do want him to continue learning. He gets so much interaction, new words, and activity at school every day and I don’t want to bring him home and leave the little monkey feeling tortured being home all day with boring ol mommy.

I used a list from my mom’s board and quite a few lessons from http://www.letteroftheweek.com/Preparatory_Outline.html too to put together a weekly plan for next year. Each week we will have a THEME and follow up throughout the week with letters, colors, activities, field trips and learning skills for the week! I will be posting these on my mom’s board for a group of moms but will probably post them here too, along with lots of pics of me and sweet M as we travel through learning, playing and cuddling next year.

I can’t wait to get started! When did 25 days seem like a lifetime?

Scrambled

My brain feels like scrambled eggs this week. Could be that it's ahem, that time of the month. Could be that Max is quickly entering into :the terrible twos: or that Rob is getting very sick with a head cold/sinus infection thing.

Could be that my day job is getting exceedingly busy and it's really hard to be here 100% when I long not to be. Could be that every Monday morning I walk into an office filled with negative nelly's and a cloud of despair threatens to take over my mood.

Could be that my heart is heavy thinking about Stellan. Sweet baby who was healed after serious heart problems in the womb, who is now in the hospital unexpectedly, dealing with the same heart problems once again.

Could be that I started reading Every Thought Captive and my thought life is addled between the thoughts that come unknowingly and the desire to rid myself of such negative thoughts, when I know where they come from. Could be that it is so hard to grasp the line of striving to be like Christ and accepting that NO MATTER WHAT our relationship with Him is never based on performance. He loves me the same, yesterday, today and tomorrow, regardless of my actions.

Could be that I stayed up too late the past few nights and was woken up by hail beating so hard on our windows I couldn't hear Rob speaking right next to me.

Or it could just be that Max woke up at 5:15AM and in :terrible errr terrific two: fashion decided that was a dandy time to get up for the day and then proceeded to MELT DOWN all morning long.

Could be.
Jesi

Gentle

Starting at around 9 months, Max started with the infamous toddler hitting. I think it is a completely normal way of testing boundaries and judging reactions. What happens when I hit mommy?

I have been trying to redirect him, so when he hits, or bites, or kicks (man, I make him sound like a horrid child...it's normal I swear! Right?) I have made him stroke my face and said Gentle, Max, Gentle.

This morning, as I was getting Max ready for School (or Cool in his baby language) he was absentmindedly smacking my leg. I didn't even bother to redirect, I just casually said, "Max Be Nice"

"Gentle" He said it so clearly as he started softly stroking my leg (much better than smacking) It was so cute, and he did it over and over again, obviously pleased with my excited reaction.

Now we just need to work on "Massage" as I teach him to rub Mommy's back or "Fetch" as I send him to get something....who knew I would be better at baby training than dog training?
Always,
Jesi

Worn Out

Exhausted, Tired, Just Plain Worn Out

Let's get a little perspective on last week...
Saturday-TS Party, stayed too late, had lots of fun
Sunday-TS Party, stayed awhile, had lots of fun, came home tired
Monday-got up before baby (wha?), woke him, took Max to allergy testing
Monday-AM-Cursed Allergies, discovered that Max is allergic to EVERYTHING except food
Monday-cursed weather as we got a lovely winter storm with black ice
Brought home baby, filled with meds, lazed around the house in comfies
Monday night-BABES was cancelled due to weather, dangit, needed that inspiration, lost two pounds, can I keep it off this week
Tuesday-Daycare is closed, split day with Rob, morning with crazy baby, afternoon with crazy work
Tuesday-Noon-went to work, discovered that I don't understand why I work at my job, cried, got over it, complained, came home
Tuesday night-ahhh relaxation, cannot sleep, have to be at work by 5:30, bad roads, tossed and turned for all 5 hours
Wednesday-Woke up at 4:30AM, GAG. Got to work at 5:30AM, worked too long, felt slightly better about work
Thursday-got up before baby again (wha?) took Max to school (open, thank ya Jesus) got ready for work trip (WHY)
Thursday-drove to Dallas, got Gap jeans on sale, arrived, had lots of sushi and asian food, yum...wine and sake too. tired.
Sat in 3 hour meeting, discussing goals, challenges and areas where I need help. Help...not fun, meeting went well.
Tired-got ready with Bambi and Juicy, teased B's hair into Dallas hair, laughed a lot, good times
Thursday Night-Went to Dinner at the famous Nobu...decided against more Asian, had a very small portion of yummy short ribs, waited for ever as everyone else finished 7 courses of Asian, stole food from Juicy, danced at the table, laughed with Charlies Angels
Went to bed TOO late
Friday-Got up too early. Went to SPA. Thank you Owner for this treat. Rubbed all over with hot stones. Yum.
Breakfast, lunch planned-ASIAN. GAG. No more asian food.
Got lost in Dallas, went to Central Market=Heaven, rushed home in traffic
Friday Night-TS Party, girls drinking lots of sangria. Funny, Stayed too late, had lots of fun. TIRED.
Saturday Morning-Got up early with baby, give Rob a break for being a single parent this week. Cuddle Max, missed him A LOT. Went to Classen for Chinese New Year, the MIL and SIL wanted....ASIAN FOOD. GAG. No more asian food!!!!!
Saturday Night-TS Party, stayed WAY too late, had LOTS of fun!
Sunday-Woke up early, slept on couch. Finally got around, went to work, early. Sat through a repeat 3 hour managers meeting. Felt better about my job, for now. Coworkers wanted to go out to lunch, they wanted...ASIAN FOOD. NO THANK YOU.
Went home, ate lunch (mexican, thank you Jesus!), took Baby (give Rob another break from singleparenthood) to Target, it's packed and they are sold out of Velveeta (wha?)Eavesdropped, found 2 boxes of Mexican Velveeta, snagged it and ran out.
Sunday Night-Enjoyed dinner, clean house and the Superbowl. Laughed too hard with Codie.
Fell asleep, early, finally, felt the warmth of Rob, thankful for my snoozing baby across the house. Warm dog on feet.
Tired, exhausted, worn out.

I need some BABES, some Jesus and a good ol fashioned BREAK.
Always,
Jesi

Shots are no fun

Note: This is a very old picture of Max but I think it is hilarious. His face did look somewhat like this after this mornings shots.

Soooooooo, tis the season for RSV. And it stinks. Two weeks ago our little buddy got a really bad cough when were in Texas visiting the fam. As it worsened, and got more mucousy and yucky sounding, even causing Max to gag and cry we knew it was time to visit our favorite, P.A. (Physicians Assistant) Angela Bartlow to see what was up. That night, when Rob brought Max to me in the middle of the night, he was ON FIRE. One full tylenol dosage later his fever was low but I asked Rob to take him anyways. And yes, he had RSV.

Needless to say, Rob didn't so much enjoy that week home with a cranky Max on nebulizer treatments every 4 hours (he hated them at first but now he does ok as long as he gets to put the "fish face" mask on himself) and two antibiotics plus endless doses of my favorites two little bottles ever (motrin and tylenol, thank you Jesus!)

Back to the doctor we went today, for two reasons. One-to check up on his RSV and see if we could stop the fish face treatments. And Two-Max has had two skin reactions this week and we are trying to determine what is causing them.

So off we go, Max marching into the office like a big boy, until he catches the face of our nurse, you know the one who jabs needles into his chunky thighs, and he started crying. Ugh, this age of understanding what is happening can really throw a kink in your plans.

One and half hours later we determined we are RSV and fish face clear, YAY. We found out Max is right on track in all areas, except his verbal skills, where he is AHEAD of the curve for a boy his age. Guess that year of me having no one to talk to except my child is paying off. We got two shots, including MMR. Angela reassurred me that it really is safe and since Max shows no signs of autism or social/verbal lags that he will be just fine.

We STILL have a lagging ear infection in his right ear though. And since he has had SIX ear infections in his life we are on a narrowing road to a place called TUBES. Double Ugh. I really wanted to prevent tubes so we are first going to endure what I like to call my idea of personal torture, an allergy test.

Max has always had sensitive skin, almost excema like patches of dry skin on his legs and arms. We cannot use cheap baby lotion or wash, no good ol J&J, or even Aveeno works anymore. We tried Baby Arbonne and in fact it might be causing his reaction. Fan-frekin-tastic. I love when HY-PO-ALL-ER-GENIC doesn't really mean much. It might be our new (and cheap) detergent or fabric softener (don't normally use it but my awesomely helpful husband did all 142 loads of our laundry and he is a fabric softener freakazoid)

SO on the 26th, we head in for 21 sticks to see what might be causing his allergic reactions, which in turn may be causing the constant congestion, runny nose, mucous, which of course may be causing the drainage, that may be leading to those awesomely antibiotic resistant ear infections.

Send up some prayers for my little boy. Hopefully the allergy testing will determine a controllable factor and we can avoid the road called TUBES.

On two happier notes, if you want to see a super cutey named Olivia you can check out my friend Julie's blog at http://loveourliv.blogspot.com AND my friend Kera Don is almost a Mommy! At 32 weeks we have her baby shower this weekend and I am super excited for her to join this crazy club called motherhood.

Much Love,
Jesi

Trust

Trust

Can I start by saying I miss the blog world? Things are really really busy this time of year at work. Most of you know that I am a professional event coordinator, thus my December is filled to the max with corporate Holiday parties, and weddings glorious with red the shade of the season.

In addition to the craziness of my daytime job, I took a serious plunge and decided to start a business with Tastefully Simple. Have you heard of it? All I can say is that I love it! And I have been incredibly blessed to see wonderful success from it already...so much so that it may impact our future plans. Sooner than later even.

So forgive me, I missed you all.

On to the topic at hand. Trust.

In the past several weeks my eyes have been opened to the possibility that I *might* be able to control my own success as far as my career goes. That I may be able to change the way that I work each day. That sometime in the future, I may get to stay home with my baby when he doesn’t feel so great, instead of rushing him to school as I run myself ragged on the way to that day job.

But even though I should be SUPER excited by this, and in theory I am, I can’t help but feel fearful and full of apprehension. I wish I could say this was out of character for me, but that would be a lie. I am a ball of worries and self induced stress. I struggle with that whole “handing it over to God” thing. I wish that it came easier to me! But even when I make a tangible decision to NOT worry, I worry about not worrying. Sigh.

So today when I thought about it I realized that my anxiety over this situation was deeply rooted in fear. FEAR. Fear that we would not be able to pay our bills and provide for our family.

And then I stopped. I don’t provide for my family. Rob doesn’t provide for my family. Our jobs don’t provide for our family. GOD provides for this family. God and only God make the provisions for my house. So if staying home with my baby is a desire of my heart, even though I know it will be a challenging desire, then what do I have to fear?

God will provide, always, today, yesterday and tomorrow. He is the same. And even when our budget has been in the red, the shade of this season, He has provided. So what do I have to fear? Nothing.

Well maybe the thought of entertaining Max all day, but that is a whole nother story.
Always,
Jesi

You're So Blessed

I don't believe in Luck, because I do believe in God. I know that everything happens for a reason (even when I cannot see the reason and I spend hours crying in the darkness of my sons nursery)

But in the darkness of winter, when the nights turn black so early in the evening. And the seasons surround you with a snowy joy that threatens to overtake your sanity, it's hard to remember that you are NOT unlucky, that this life is not a curse, but that YOU ARE immensely blessed.

You are so blessed to have your Prince Charming. To know the feeling of a love that surpasses a distance, a challenge, and yes, even a deployment.
You are so blessed to have the joy of being a mother.
Of holding a healthy baby and knowing that you formed him (or her) in your womb.
You are so blessed to have a faith to hold on to.
So blessed to know our God.
You are so blessed to have a home to sleep in. A bed to keep you warm.
So blessed to make a meal to share with your children. Your family. Your friends.
You are so blessed to be married to man of strength. Of character. Brave, loving, caring, faithful.
So blessed to have your life.
Even the parts that make you cry in stores. Make you question why the holiday displays must be up already.
You are so blessed to celebrate this season.
Knowing that our Savior was born on Christmas Day, coming to save us.
So blessed to be saved.
So Blessed. So Blessed. So Blessed.

Counting the blessings. It's hard when your soul is threatened by the wintery darkness. Just try.
Always,
Jesi

Life Takes Over

When I am running around getting ready in the morning and I never pray...Life takes over. I smile at Rob as he helps me, packing the bags, making me lunch, kissing me goodbye through the car window. Waking up before he has to. Life takes over.

When I get in the car and I think about everything I have to do. I drop off Max, I avoid him crying as I leave. I get to work, rushing in a few minutes late. I check my emails, check the blogs, and check my favorite websites. I reply to customers, I check voicemails; I deal with crazy brides who make me want to pull my hair out.

Life Takes Over.

I leave as soon as I can. I relish in Max seeing me as I pick him up. I kiss his face and hug him tight, I pack his bags and we head home. Or to church, or to BABES, or to dinner with family or friends...but mostly home and Life takes over.

We eat, we play, and we take a bath. We see each other, we laugh, and we do the things that families do in the weeknights of fall. We take our family walk/jog. We retire to the couch, or the computer, or the video game, or to each other.

My life is taking over my time with God. Again. Haven’t I been here many times before? Stumbled away one slow step, one slow fade from brilliant to tarnished? One small choice of how I spend my time, what I do, who I am, who I want to be.

Life takes over so easily. I love my life, oh how I love every moment in those days. I love seeing my husbands face in the morning. I love hugging my sweet baby before the morning light awakens us. I love running around like a crazy woman, taking on way too much but relishing in the frenetic energy my crazy life creates.

Even though I love it all, I love my God more.

God Take Over.