waiting and obedience

Man I hate to wait.

I don't have a lot of patience. Well somedays I do! Somedays when Max moves at a snails pace, taking an average of 32 minutes to move towards me to get dressed or changed or whatever I just smile and relax. Other days I grab him and get him moving. My patience level comes and goes with a regular sense of irregularity.

After my last post I started thinking about how I felt when I was in a stage of waiting. I was a working mama for 2 years and I am quite proud that I managed to not pull my hair out while managing a thriving business in a crazy industry, my tastefully simple business, social obligations, family, friends, my husband, max and half of that time was during our deployment. I don't regret going back to work after Max was born. Rob was deployed and quite honestly a neverending 24 hour cycle of me and max and me and max and just me and max was not doing much to improve what I had left of my sanity. The regular and predictable schedule of our days helped pass the time. My friends at work made me laugh and took my mind off of the things I tried hard not to think about. My paychecks amplified our ability to pay off debt and figure out how to be better stewards of all that we are given.

Despite the positives I wasn't happy with my career. I wanted something much greater than a title and a raise. I wanted to enjoy what I did and that was where I struggled. I remember when I figured out the problem. (I) had followed MY path with little consideration as to what God wanted from my life. In college (I) decided that if (I) could pick any job (I) would be a wedding planner. How (I) stumbled into that exact job is comical. (I) was 2nd picks for the position and only through my annoying follow up calls did (I) happen to get hired.(I)ronic that just one year into my career that (I) chose (I) was miserable.

In that time frame I submitted my job to God. I prayed for strength to handle the daily challenges. I prayed for change. I prayed that I would get this job or that job or another job.

He said No.

And I waited.

I never desired to be a stay at home mom. Those women who chose to do so seemed like they were a planet away from my desires. I didn't understand why you would go to college and then decide to not work in your field. I didn't get it.

Once Max was born I understood WHY other mothers chose to stay at home with their kids. It was HARD to leave my 12 week old at daycare. It was HARD to juggle everything. It was hard to put him to bed at 7:30, exhausted from a day surrounded by other kids and noise and know that I missed out on a lot.

BUT I STILL DIDN'T DESIRE TO STAY AT HOME.

I was simply waiting for a DIFFERENT job.

In those last 3 years that I worked God taught me a lot about waiting and obedience. And in that time HE changed my heart. Out of nowhere I started to consider what would be ideal. Ideally I would work part time. I love being around people and accomplishing things. I like checking off a to-do list and helping to achieve something greater than myself. I like spending time with coworkers and getting to know people. I enjoyed those things. Even our pesky deployment reinforced the theme that God was revealing to me day by day. WAIT. And while you wait, OBEY.

Somehow through those years my heart was softened to staying at home. And gradually each tear streaked strand of our life, stained with His No's and strengthened by the Wait were woven together to form a new plan for our family. Somehow He used every challenge and every struggle to paint a picture of what I desired...before I even knew that I desired it.

It is only possible for me to be at home now because of our obedience, the wait, the deployment, our schedules, doors that were closed, other doors that were opened, two part time jobs, circumstances changing and hearts that were open to His plan. All of those worked together for our good even though sometimes they didn't feel good. At all.

There is NOTHING wrong with being a working mom, a stay at home mom or any combination of the two. What is RIGHT is being obedient to what HE desires for your family. It may change in the coming years. It may not. You might live your plan from the get go, or you might have to take 772 detours to get where you need to be. You might be blessed enough to find your place tomorrow, or He might ask you to wait, and wait, and wait some more. What is most important is your willingness to be obedient to what He determines is best for you and yours. What does that mean for you?

Jesi

Ramblings

I haven’t written in so long I feel like I forgot what to do for a second. To be honest it has been a LONG 6 weeks notice at the theatre. There were days that I felt like I was still never leaving. I tried really hard to do the honorable thing and stick it out, doing the best that I could. In that time they finally hired my replacement. While he isn’t who I would have chosen I have trained him, prepared him, tested him and left him with as much information as I possibly could. And that is all that I wanted these past few weeks, was to leave the door open with a positive ending. Something my friend said to me one time reverberated in my head, her husband reminded her that when she left her job she wanted to leave it on the best terms. Not because she was bitter and rude, or left behind a mess but that she wanted to leave them remembering how great it was when she was there.

Despite the difficulty in having such an attitude of peace I managed to scrape through these past few weeks. I walked through the theatre today and looked around. It’s so much different than it was when I started 4 years ago. The lights have changed, the bar is different, and the room shines with a granditude that was once missing. There are floating memories throughout the space, escalated by the blue jazz pouring out of the new speakers. I see weddings and parties, dancing and laughter, friends, hugs, tears, bad memories, good memories, hellos and goodbyes. I remember the high I felt when I first started. I remember the lows I felt when I didn’t think I could work there another day.

Two years ago I felt God speaking to me about my job. He told me that I had stood long enough at this mountain. At the time I thought it was my time to go. Two years later I understand more of what He was teaching me. I was done standing at the base of the mountain. It was time to climb. I cannot say that I always gave 100% of myself to this place but I am ok with that. I gave 100% of myself to God in that moment. I forgot about what I wanted. I waited because it was what HE laid out for our family. I hung in there through the early morning events, the arguments and the meeting of a lifetime when I was told I lacked passion. I waited because He kept shutting the door to other opportunities. The timing was never right, the situation was never right and in THAT moment this is where I was supposed to be.

FOUR years after I started, NOW it is time for me to move into the light. In my sacrifice and prayer and the hidden desires of my heart, I hid in Him. He and only He has brought us to this place. He has confirmed my decision to leave and be home with Max over and over again. We have been financially blessed in my last days here. He has provided OVER what we need. He has gifted me with a husband who is financially wise and careful but who believes fully in the tithe that provides for our family. He has held me in his grasp and danced me back to my calling. Mother, Wife, Sister, Friend, Teacher, Helper, Encourager. I cannot think of anywhere else I want to be than this place where I feel joy and peace at submitting to his will. It is glorious and the glory belongs to God.

Always,
Jesi
Psalms 30:11-12
You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.
You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy, that I might sing praises to you and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever!

Scrambled

My brain feels like scrambled eggs this week. Could be that it's ahem, that time of the month. Could be that Max is quickly entering into :the terrible twos: or that Rob is getting very sick with a head cold/sinus infection thing.

Could be that my day job is getting exceedingly busy and it's really hard to be here 100% when I long not to be. Could be that every Monday morning I walk into an office filled with negative nelly's and a cloud of despair threatens to take over my mood.

Could be that my heart is heavy thinking about Stellan. Sweet baby who was healed after serious heart problems in the womb, who is now in the hospital unexpectedly, dealing with the same heart problems once again.

Could be that I started reading Every Thought Captive and my thought life is addled between the thoughts that come unknowingly and the desire to rid myself of such negative thoughts, when I know where they come from. Could be that it is so hard to grasp the line of striving to be like Christ and accepting that NO MATTER WHAT our relationship with Him is never based on performance. He loves me the same, yesterday, today and tomorrow, regardless of my actions.

Could be that I stayed up too late the past few nights and was woken up by hail beating so hard on our windows I couldn't hear Rob speaking right next to me.

Or it could just be that Max woke up at 5:15AM and in :terrible errr terrific two: fashion decided that was a dandy time to get up for the day and then proceeded to MELT DOWN all morning long.

Could be.
Jesi

Worn Out

Exhausted, Tired, Just Plain Worn Out

Let's get a little perspective on last week...
Saturday-TS Party, stayed too late, had lots of fun
Sunday-TS Party, stayed awhile, had lots of fun, came home tired
Monday-got up before baby (wha?), woke him, took Max to allergy testing
Monday-AM-Cursed Allergies, discovered that Max is allergic to EVERYTHING except food
Monday-cursed weather as we got a lovely winter storm with black ice
Brought home baby, filled with meds, lazed around the house in comfies
Monday night-BABES was cancelled due to weather, dangit, needed that inspiration, lost two pounds, can I keep it off this week
Tuesday-Daycare is closed, split day with Rob, morning with crazy baby, afternoon with crazy work
Tuesday-Noon-went to work, discovered that I don't understand why I work at my job, cried, got over it, complained, came home
Tuesday night-ahhh relaxation, cannot sleep, have to be at work by 5:30, bad roads, tossed and turned for all 5 hours
Wednesday-Woke up at 4:30AM, GAG. Got to work at 5:30AM, worked too long, felt slightly better about work
Thursday-got up before baby again (wha?) took Max to school (open, thank ya Jesus) got ready for work trip (WHY)
Thursday-drove to Dallas, got Gap jeans on sale, arrived, had lots of sushi and asian food, yum...wine and sake too. tired.
Sat in 3 hour meeting, discussing goals, challenges and areas where I need help. Help...not fun, meeting went well.
Tired-got ready with Bambi and Juicy, teased B's hair into Dallas hair, laughed a lot, good times
Thursday Night-Went to Dinner at the famous Nobu...decided against more Asian, had a very small portion of yummy short ribs, waited for ever as everyone else finished 7 courses of Asian, stole food from Juicy, danced at the table, laughed with Charlies Angels
Went to bed TOO late
Friday-Got up too early. Went to SPA. Thank you Owner for this treat. Rubbed all over with hot stones. Yum.
Breakfast, lunch planned-ASIAN. GAG. No more asian food.
Got lost in Dallas, went to Central Market=Heaven, rushed home in traffic
Friday Night-TS Party, girls drinking lots of sangria. Funny, Stayed too late, had lots of fun. TIRED.
Saturday Morning-Got up early with baby, give Rob a break for being a single parent this week. Cuddle Max, missed him A LOT. Went to Classen for Chinese New Year, the MIL and SIL wanted....ASIAN FOOD. GAG. No more asian food!!!!!
Saturday Night-TS Party, stayed WAY too late, had LOTS of fun!
Sunday-Woke up early, slept on couch. Finally got around, went to work, early. Sat through a repeat 3 hour managers meeting. Felt better about my job, for now. Coworkers wanted to go out to lunch, they wanted...ASIAN FOOD. NO THANK YOU.
Went home, ate lunch (mexican, thank you Jesus!), took Baby (give Rob another break from singleparenthood) to Target, it's packed and they are sold out of Velveeta (wha?)Eavesdropped, found 2 boxes of Mexican Velveeta, snagged it and ran out.
Sunday Night-Enjoyed dinner, clean house and the Superbowl. Laughed too hard with Codie.
Fell asleep, early, finally, felt the warmth of Rob, thankful for my snoozing baby across the house. Warm dog on feet.
Tired, exhausted, worn out.

I need some BABES, some Jesus and a good ol fashioned BREAK.
Always,
Jesi

Everything Always Works Out

It's Robs favorite saying.

Thursday night, after an arduous decision process that included me acting like a meany head for more than a few moments, Rob decided NOT to go to the Moore Police Department tryout.

To be honest, I was disappointed that he didn't go give it a shot. But he was firm in feeling like it wasn't the right job or the right time. His current company has offered him a raise and a 6AM-3PM schedule. He is very focused on completing his degree and after spending so much time away from us he isn't too keen on jumping into a new and very crazy schedule just yet.

Being the loverly wife that I am I gave up the fight and decided to do what God wants me to do.

Trust my husband, trust his leadership for our family and believe that God will provide for us in the way that He knows best.

Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers! We still needed them and we still do!
Much Love and Happy Pre-Thanksgiving!
Always,
Jesi

Todays the Day

Rob tests tonight at the Moore Police Department. Please join us in praying that God's will for our family will come to fruition in the coming days.

Much Love!
Always,
Jesi

Open Windows

Open Windows

You know the saying...when God shuts a door, He opens a window.

I am sitting here feeling the breeze of open windows.

I fully admit worrying about paying our mortgage and making it work seriously sent me into panic mode. But for today, I feel the breeze of windows He is opening and I am at peace.

We will make it through, somehow, someway. I stopped the other day and thought two things.
1) As I laid in bed evaluating what things we would cut from the budget I never considered cutting out our tithes. THAT is a good thing. Because I don’t want to start to imagine the hole we would dig if we started being stingy with the money we are given on loan from our Father.
2) After I realized (1) I thought about how much money we tithe and what bills might be paid with that money instead. Nahhh...so not going down that road.

But the other night, my amazing friend Summer told me that Rob should work for the railroad. The funny thing is that she just called it the railroad. So when I relayed the story, I just called it the railroad too. Apparently if you have police or military experience you can provide security for the “railroad” and make a lot of money and get your babies covered at 100%! Summer works for an OBGYN, thus the baby coverage part of this story.

Now Rob and I laughed and then promptly googled “police and security railroad jobs” Ok, that is what HE googled...I googled “working for the railroad”

We didn’t find much on the railroad, not really our window. What we did do was open up JobsOK.com and start looking around. Did you know that those mall security guys get paid squat? You probably already knew that.

What I did notice was a listing from the Moore Police Department. Hiring. Now some of you may know that Rob is in school for a Police Science degree...so he skipped over it. After all he is still IN SCHOOL. But I made him go back. We opened it, no details. Please go to the City of Moore website. Tab Open, City of Moore. And we read that they are hiring, for several positions, that in order to interview you need to show up on Thursday, November 20th for a 1.5 mile run, a sprint, and a physical test. If you pass the physical test, you will pay $15 for the written test. Benefits, salary, college tuition reimbursement....etc. etc. etc, only 30 hours of college credit required. Guess who has over 30 hours of college credit?

The moral of the story? Maybe God shut a door for us so He could open this window, a job that Rob actually wants to do, allowing him to start his career, finish school, feel financially and personally satisfied....maybe.

I covet your prayers over this, a million times more than when you prayed for my job opportunity (you know when God slammed the door, Ouch) There is something about praying for my husband that makes me fervent in seeking Him.

So pray for Rob, as he prepares over the next week. And tests next Thursday. And puts himself out on the line for something he would really love. And for me too, as I sit in the breeze of an open window, remembering to remind myself to remember that God is ALWAYS faithful.
Always,
Jesi

Hanging On

Wow, I never knew how much I was hanging on to all things earthly until this little job scare entered our picture. It seems that I cannot stop being a stressful, obsessed freakazoid at the thought of drastically reworking our budget. I thought that I had given God control over our finances, after all we tithe, even when we are already on a tight budget, Rob and I have firmly believed in the power of tithing and things have always worked out for us.

We have been tremendously blessed in the area of finances. We have always had enough money to live prosperous American lives and go out to eat when we want to. So tightening up has been a lesson in what is truly important. Switching to an all cash budget, a la Dave Ramsey, has been scary and freeing at the same time. The first time I took my debit card out of my wallet I got a little nervous. After all, I am the anti cash girl. I never have Cash! Could I really make it on $25 spending money a week? Cash Only?

YES! To record, I still have $15 and some change and I get a new allowance on Friday so I am pretty proud of myself.

This morning, as I laid in bed, watching my husband snooze and feeling a warm little body in between us I started making it work in my head. Does it really matter if Max doesn't get to go to the absolute best daycare that is super close to our house? No, not really. There is a great daycare down the street from my work that is spoken really highly of, and it is much cheaper. Do I need the nice car with leather seats and a sunroof? Not really, I could always get a cheaper car, as long as it gets from A to B, isn't that the point anyways? Do we need 5 million movie channels? Definitely not? Do we ever use our home phone? Barely ever! Could I rearrange some things for a year or so, so that Rob can finish school? Definitely. Do I NEED a $25 pedicure? Do I NEED to eat out after church? Do I NEED expensive snack bars?

No, No, No. Evaluating what I could really do without, and seeing everything I would still have laying next to me in a warm bed, in a nice house, with a full pantry, food in my refrigerator and $15 and some change in my purse I realized that we can always make it. We will always make it, God will always provide for us. Even in the tough times, even when I do without the movie channels, the pedicure and the lunch out after church.

God is still God, today, yesterday and tomorrow and He will always be faithful. Always,
Jesi
" Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap, nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them. " (Matthew 6:26)

The Storms never stop

Sometimes it becomes easy to find your identity in a season. I fully admit that I found a certain identity in myself as I survived our last deployment. I clung more closely to the life of a military wife, a military mommy because that is what I was living. Day in and day out, I breathed it, wrote it, cried it, barely survived it, praised through it, prayed my face off and made it through.

So when our deployment ended I knew that my mindset would change. That I would make an unconscious shift back to just living day by day. Working, breathing, living. I wrote about it last time. And this weekend, sitting in church I was reminded that I love my God. Love Him more than anything else.

But even in the seasons of joy, the storms are never stopped. There is someone out there, unworthy of my words, who seeks to kill and destroy us. To scare us into a submission that causes us to run, to flee from our God. He uses the challenges of life, of the economy, of our world to frighten us into a fearful mindset where we are ravaged by the storms.

It's storming in Oklahoma. The wind is whipping through the trees, the rain is pouring down and the water is rising. The storm is taking over the beauty of fall. And I feel every second of it in my soul. Even when we are still in celebration mode, when I can still look over at Rob, in awe that he is still here, the storms are starting to rage. Rob was SUPPOSED to have a 10 month military order that put him working at the armory. And making near the same amount of money. And we found out last week that it is gone. No longer available. Over before it started.

So where does that leave us? In the start of a small storm, praying, tithing and BELIEVING that God will provide. I debated even sharing it with anyone, wanting to stand so strong in my faith that I would just wait for the praise report and then tell everyone around us how good our God is. But I decided that being on the receiving end of your prayers *again* was not such a bad thing.

I admit, my heart was getting battered by the start of this storm. My creativity and brain spinning the surge much farther than it has even gone. And I was stopped firmly in the midst of my meltdown by first my husband, who assured me that everything would work out, and my God, who reminded me that He was still here, today, tomorrow, always the same, always protecting me, always looking out for us, always spinning the universe in perfect working order and that HE could handle this storm just fine.

So pray for us please. Before the storm takes over my mindset again, and I find myself sitting in the rain.
Always,
Jesi

Max's Birthday Party

I feel so out of touch having not blogged in several days...truth be told, I haven't even gotten to read many of my favorite blogs this week and that is blasphemy to me!

But I knew October was going to be a killer, from the Breast Cancer Walk, my BF's baby shower, Rob coming home, Max's Birthday and Party, the Beautiful Womens conference at Victory Church, UCO Homecoming, Pancake Palooza Breakfast and Founders Day, and the Taste of Western my head is spinning, spinning, and spinning some more.

So once the chaos calms a bit I will post pictures from Max's Birthday party. Till then, Happy Chaotic Wednesday!
Always,
Jesi

When God Says No

Don't you love it when God says No.

Ok, probably not. We all love when God says Yes. Yes, your marriage can be restored. Yes, your child is healed. Yes, you are loved. Yes, you are saved by grace. Yes, I forgive you. Yes, child, Yes.

But the no's can be somewhat tougher to handle.

No, I cannot reveal my plan just yet. No, you will not get this job. or the next one. No, you will not have a child. No, you will not live until an old age. No, your life will not be easy. No, child, No.

This morning I took something from Max that he didnt need to play with. He cried. He sobbed, He threw a little tantrum and kicked his feet at me. He slumped down on the ground and would not come to me when I reached for him. But I did not give it back. He didn't need it and he could have hurt himself with it. I knew better than him as his parent. But that didn't stop the tantrum.

And in that moment I saw myself. How often does God say No and we throw a temper tantrum? We kick our feet, run away when He reaches out to us and we slump on the ground in despair at our fate.

But He knows better as our parent, that we don't need that "thing" and that we might have gotten hurt.

I'm not claiming to have this all figured out folks. I still woke up at 4 AM, unable to sleep, alternately listening to the whispers from each shoulder.

You should have
No, child, No
You could have
No, child, No
Maybe if I
No, child, No
Maybe next time
No, child, No

I prayed over and over and over again that I would be me in my interviews. And if that wasn't what they wanted and it wasn't His will that the door would shut.

It slammed.

No, child, No

I am looking for the plan, seeking the purpose, when I can look back and say, "I understand Lord"
Yes, child, Yes
Always,

Disappointment

I didn't get the job

And it stings, just a bit

And my eyes are a bit clouded

But I KNOW and I DECLARE that God has a specific plan, purpose and destiny for my life to glorify HIS purpose.

And every step has been guided and every experience has been teaching me.

And I am ready.

And HE will come through, HE will reveal it, In HIS Time

Because He always does

ALWAYS

The Best of Me

“Don’t let them get the best of you”

Guilty as charged. Those lost people I was talking about last time…I let them. I let them get the best of me yesterday.

And last night after the dramatics ceased I caught up on some of my favorite blogs and the tension started melting. Until I actually looked at our dog and noticed that he was coated in red Oklahoma mud, dried to his chocolaty coat. Did I want to give D a bath at 11PM last night? Strangely yes.

So off we went. And the mud was washed away, he leaned into the attention of the wash and I stared into his pretty face.

When bath time was over he zoomed around our living room at the speed of light, energized by his lovely oatmeal and vanilla scent. And the baby screamed.

Now normally, I ignore my booger and he goes back to sleep within minutes. By nine months of age I figured it was bout time he figured out how to sleep at night.

But this night I wanted to see him. It’s been too busy lately and Max has been shuffled about from daycare to Granny’s to nursery at church. So I went to him and he snuffled into my chest and conked back out, D at my feet finishing the bath by licking his paws noisily.

As I sat in the darkness of Max’s cool nursery I was reminded of my moment, months ago, when God caught my attention and spoke whispers in my ear. He encouraged me to be thankful for adversity and to allow these challenges to draw me ever closer to Him. And in return He promised to bring me a destiny greater than I could even imagine. Reminded of that moment I reflected on the insanity of my day. And that is when I realized. I had allowed the lost to get the very best of me. The best of my passion, fervor and intensity, wasted on petty moments.

As I snuggled my growing boy and tapped D repeatedly to lick more quietly I knew that I didn’t want to give my best to those unworthy of it.

I want my best to go to God
To Rob
To Max
To My Family
And
To My Purpose

Everyone else can have a piece of me…but not the best.
The best is saved for the special ones, who make up my list.
Moving on this morning, I did what was unthinkable yesterday. I prayed for them. I prayed blessings and honor, riches and successes and I prayed that they would realize even with everything of the world, it means nothing without Christ.

And when I opened my Bible, I was gifted by God. In return for my earnest prayers, he gave me the gift of Proverbs 16. It spoke to me in fullness and renewed my spirit.

When you have one of those days where you give away “the best of you” open up the book and read it. I promise it will bring you revelation.

Always,

“It is better to be patient than powerful; it is better to have self control than to conquer a city. We may throw the dice, but the LORD determines how they fall” Proverbs 16:32-33
(Seriously though, go read the entire thing, it is amazing)
P.S. Second Interview was rescheduled due to an emergency staff meeting, check back next week for the results
92% Done with the Stinkin Deployment! Wahoo!

Living amongst the lost

It’s not always fun…

As I read through my favorite blogs I am surprised to see how many of these people work in ministry. While I imagine it definitely has its hardships, I can only imagine the glory of working for a cause that you so passionately believe in AND finding yourself in a workplace with coworkers who actually believe in God.

Now I am not saying that working in ministry is easy, or even fun all the time, or that all those Christian co workers are perfect and friendly and its one big group hug singing Kumbaya. (seriously is that how you spell that?) I know that isn’t the reality of working in ministry but sometimes I envy that workplace.

Working with the lost and broken does not make a happy workplace. As I am surrounded by angry, critical, negative people I am reminded to look at them the way Jesus sees them. WWJD anyone? I only wore that bracelet for one season so I’m not sure enough of the message rubbed off on me.

I am guilty of NOT seeing them the way Jesus sees them. When I am under attack and ESPECIALLY when MY employees are under attack I get angry. I get really frustrated. AND I get really ugly.

But when I stop and see them with the eyes of Christ I see a lot of broken, hurting hearts surrounding me in this place. I see women whose hearts were shredded by infidelity. I see families broken into many parts. I see men whose hearts are so saddened by the lack of love and companionship that they attack with no warning, suddenly and brutally, seeking to feel just a little bit better when they tear someone else down to their level.

It can be an awesomely ugly place to work. It can feel very mean and bitter and full of tension. It can feel like a cocoon that is constantly under spiritual attack. And it is. And I guess my job here is to stop the chaos. To bite back the ugly words of my flesh and control my reaction. To love on the hurting. To show them that there are people so filled with Christ’s love that they don’t attack back, even when the attacks are insanely ugly.

So while I am here, I am here. I am here to love the unlovable. To smile at the grouchiest of all and gosh darnit to just kill em with kindness.

Fighting off Ugly
Always,

Ahhh my favorite quote

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciouslygive other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,our presence automatically liberates others."

Never fails to make me feel great...

SECOND INTERVIEW IS THURSDAY MORNING! THANK YOU JESUS!

Updates

Just for posterity sake…

At Max’s 10 month appointment he weighed 24 pounds, was 30 inches tall and was in 80th percentile for both. His head is 60th percentile. He has a bigger body than head, haha! He is full on toddler running now and being one crazy kid. The most precious thing happened yesterday, he was home sick and Rob called. I put the phone up to Max’s ear and he started “talking” and then very clearly said, “ Dada? DADA!” It was so cute!

Since starting my weight loss plan with my Dr. on August 14th I have lost 3.2 pounds. I have 63.8 pounds to go. I have still been counting calories and exercising several times per week. Somehow I hurt my right knee so I am back to walking versus walk jogging. Hopefully it will get better in a few days. Monday (08.25.08) I started BABES at church. It is a 12 week program and my BABES goal is to lose 30 pounds in this session. That is 10 pounds per month, wish me luck~

Dave Ramsey-We are still following our budget and debt snowball. It has been tough lately because July was slow for me at work so things are still playing catch up.

Deployment-We are now 88% done with this deployment! Can you believe it? Rob should be back home with us in about 7 weeks. We haven’t gotten any details on homecoming yet but we are getting oh so close. We are trying to not countdown because it makes time crawl by.

Power of a Praying Wife-Still praying, still loving this book. I have started meeting with an accountability partner on Fridays and we are discussing this book together and praying for our husbands. It is a very powerful time. I have also started Beth Moore’s study on Daniel and have started attending Titus II women, a women’s bible study class on Sunday mornings before service. In just my two short visits I have had one lady lay hands on me during prayer and tell I would achieve great things and another speak a prophetic word to me. WOW…it is mostly women older than me but I enjoy it immensely.

Ministry Opportunity-I have been in contact with the director and have completed the testing phase. According the Myers Brigg testing I am an ENFJ…the analysis was pretty accurate. I am now waiting to be brought in for a second interview. Leaving this one in Gods hands!

So this post is more for me than you lovely readers. I needed to play catch up and record my progress in these various endeavors. Thanks for playing and praying along!
Always

Post Interview

Hello Secret Readers!

I have gotten several emails and comments about my job interview so I know you are all out there reading.

I wanted to update you on how yesterday went. As usual I was incredibly nervous and wanted to throw up before the interview. For some reason I am not always the best at conveying who I really am when you first meet me. Even from the time I was a little girl I was always shy until I got to know you and then watch out!

So yesterday as I got ready and headed over to the job site I was a ball of nerves. Thankfully I got to talk to Rob before I went in and that helped me calm down a notch.

First off when I met the director the first thing she told me was how highly a reference that she knows personally had spoken about me. That put me at ease and we got into the business side of the questions.

An hour and a half later we were finally finished. We had talked about everything under the sun, personal and business related. It was the best interview I have ever had. Even if this was the end of the trail it was a great experience and I really enjoyed meeting her.

BUT it’s not the end of the trail just yet. She let me know that she would be sending me some testing and assessments and then contacting me in the next two weeks for a 2nd interview. I am SO EXCITED that it went so well.

I will keep you updated as it progresses but I wanted to say a sincere THANK YOU to everyone who has been thinking of me and praying for me. I felt your confidence coming through me the entire time.

Always,

Holy Crap

Ok, that is an inappropriate title I know but I just got a call and






I HAVE AN INTERVIEW TOMORROW AT 5:30PM!!!!



Now I feel like I wanna puke and my nerves are out of control.

Please pray wisdom and transparency over me today and tomorrow. I need all the prayer warriors and friends I have thinking about me with this one.
Always,

Before we get to the heavy stuff

I received another reply from the Director of said job opportunity letting me know that they have recieved all of my information and my application is being processed.

They will be scheduling interviews in the next two weeks and IF AN INTERVIEW IS DESIRED they will contact me within that time frame.

Let's all pray together now for God's Will in this situation and the best person for the job. If I dont hear anything in two weeks I will presume that they are not interested and go on my merry way waiting for God to show me another opportunity to use my skills and talents.

Thank you all for thinking of me!

PRAISE the LORD!!!!

Soooooooooo I got a response to the job opportunity I have been harping on!!! After asking everyone I know who is a Prayer Warrior to pray about this I got a reply back from the Director today. I need to read over additional information and submit more information to them on how this position will implement my personal goals and if I am a good fit for the position.

Please continue to pray guidance and His direction over my hand as I write my reply to the Director. Pray for continued peace and self confidence as I move forward and mostly THANK YOU for all of your prayers!

Always
Jesi