Never Say Never

A lesson I REALLY need to learn.

I love looking back and seeing how God can bring things full circle. There are so many times when I have said "never will I" and  God has said "oh really?"

When I was young I never understood stay at home moms. My own mom worked full time and did an awesome job being a mom and working. I didn't really understand WHY you would go to college, get your degree and then "just" stay home with kids. It flat out didn't make sense to me.

me as a working mom

After Max was born I understood why there were women that chose to be stay at home moms. But I never wanted to be one. It took a few years of listening, prayer, job changes and pressing into God to desire it for myself. It's not always easy and it's a financial sacrifice to live on 1.5 incomes but I truly feel it's where HE wanted me. I quit my job when we just had Max. Little did we know that just a short 2 years later we would have not 1 more child but 3 more children. God was lining out HIS plan before we ever knew what was gonna hit us! Never say Never.

working as a stay at home mom

Twins, twins, oh my sweet twins. I cannot tell you how many times I made joking but cutting remarks about twins! I would laugh and say "If I ever have twins I am giving one away!" Of course I meant it as a joke! Because I never in a million years imagined we would have twins. Never say Never.

would you give one of these sweet things away? Me either!

School, school, blessed School. I have NEVER wanted to homeschool. I have lots of friends who do an awesome job at it. Not me. I have several friends who are organized and involved and love it and the whole time I am thinking "that is really great for them but never for me"

Funny story...Max is one of the kids who will have to wait until he is practically SIX before kindergarten because of the birthday cutoff in our town. SIX! He is a smart cookie and we did 2 days per week of Mothers Day Out last year and treated it like preschool. This year because we suddenly have four kids they will only be going on Thursdays so I can go work at the dance studio. We don't have the $$$ to put him in a private preschool and most of them are absurd schedules anyways. I have no desire to pack up 4 small children to drop him off for 2 hours and then turn around and do it again. No thank you!

ready for school last year

So I picked up a bunch of pre-k workbooks and some writing tools so that we could start some preschool work at home. So the other morning I asked him if he wanted to do some school? "I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOOOOOOOOL" Max is a homebody. He is very social and LOVES playing with other kids but he LOVES being at home. I reminded him we had school stuff at home. "HOMESCHOOL? YAY!" He yells. I busted out laughing. God loves to get me everytime. I would have the one kid who requests to be homeschooled.

can you believe this kid loves home?

No, I am not commiting to being a homeschooler. But we are going to do Preschool at Home this year. I just feel like Max is MORE than ready and needs to start doing SOME structured work in tracing, adding, sight words. My friend over at The Ruby Zebra is a GREAT homeschool mom so I plan to pick her brain a little since she did preschool last year with Ms.B. I stumbled across this preschool set up so that is what we are going to be doing for the year amongst lots of play and lots of babies! Max is pretty convinced he is a Rockstar and I love that it is very scripture focused so I think it will be a good match for some "school" with Mama and Max. If I only do preschool with all four of our kids that is still FOUR kids that can get good use out of some planning and directed activities.

Little stuff, Big Stuff.

I will  never...I would never...that's not for me. God can't, God won't, God would never. God CAN, God WILL, God MIGHT! Over time God can change your heart and your mind to new things! Never say Never!

Always,
Jesi~not ready to call myself a homeschooler~haha

Gentle

Starting at around 9 months, Max started with the infamous toddler hitting. I think it is a completely normal way of testing boundaries and judging reactions. What happens when I hit mommy?

I have been trying to redirect him, so when he hits, or bites, or kicks (man, I make him sound like a horrid child...it's normal I swear! Right?) I have made him stroke my face and said Gentle, Max, Gentle.

This morning, as I was getting Max ready for School (or Cool in his baby language) he was absentmindedly smacking my leg. I didn't even bother to redirect, I just casually said, "Max Be Nice"

"Gentle" He said it so clearly as he started softly stroking my leg (much better than smacking) It was so cute, and he did it over and over again, obviously pleased with my excited reaction.

Now we just need to work on "Massage" as I teach him to rub Mommy's back or "Fetch" as I send him to get something....who knew I would be better at baby training than dog training?
Always,
Jesi

Worn Out

Exhausted, Tired, Just Plain Worn Out

Let's get a little perspective on last week...
Saturday-TS Party, stayed too late, had lots of fun
Sunday-TS Party, stayed awhile, had lots of fun, came home tired
Monday-got up before baby (wha?), woke him, took Max to allergy testing
Monday-AM-Cursed Allergies, discovered that Max is allergic to EVERYTHING except food
Monday-cursed weather as we got a lovely winter storm with black ice
Brought home baby, filled with meds, lazed around the house in comfies
Monday night-BABES was cancelled due to weather, dangit, needed that inspiration, lost two pounds, can I keep it off this week
Tuesday-Daycare is closed, split day with Rob, morning with crazy baby, afternoon with crazy work
Tuesday-Noon-went to work, discovered that I don't understand why I work at my job, cried, got over it, complained, came home
Tuesday night-ahhh relaxation, cannot sleep, have to be at work by 5:30, bad roads, tossed and turned for all 5 hours
Wednesday-Woke up at 4:30AM, GAG. Got to work at 5:30AM, worked too long, felt slightly better about work
Thursday-got up before baby again (wha?) took Max to school (open, thank ya Jesus) got ready for work trip (WHY)
Thursday-drove to Dallas, got Gap jeans on sale, arrived, had lots of sushi and asian food, yum...wine and sake too. tired.
Sat in 3 hour meeting, discussing goals, challenges and areas where I need help. Help...not fun, meeting went well.
Tired-got ready with Bambi and Juicy, teased B's hair into Dallas hair, laughed a lot, good times
Thursday Night-Went to Dinner at the famous Nobu...decided against more Asian, had a very small portion of yummy short ribs, waited for ever as everyone else finished 7 courses of Asian, stole food from Juicy, danced at the table, laughed with Charlies Angels
Went to bed TOO late
Friday-Got up too early. Went to SPA. Thank you Owner for this treat. Rubbed all over with hot stones. Yum.
Breakfast, lunch planned-ASIAN. GAG. No more asian food.
Got lost in Dallas, went to Central Market=Heaven, rushed home in traffic
Friday Night-TS Party, girls drinking lots of sangria. Funny, Stayed too late, had lots of fun. TIRED.
Saturday Morning-Got up early with baby, give Rob a break for being a single parent this week. Cuddle Max, missed him A LOT. Went to Classen for Chinese New Year, the MIL and SIL wanted....ASIAN FOOD. GAG. No more asian food!!!!!
Saturday Night-TS Party, stayed WAY too late, had LOTS of fun!
Sunday-Woke up early, slept on couch. Finally got around, went to work, early. Sat through a repeat 3 hour managers meeting. Felt better about my job, for now. Coworkers wanted to go out to lunch, they wanted...ASIAN FOOD. NO THANK YOU.
Went home, ate lunch (mexican, thank you Jesus!), took Baby (give Rob another break from singleparenthood) to Target, it's packed and they are sold out of Velveeta (wha?)Eavesdropped, found 2 boxes of Mexican Velveeta, snagged it and ran out.
Sunday Night-Enjoyed dinner, clean house and the Superbowl. Laughed too hard with Codie.
Fell asleep, early, finally, felt the warmth of Rob, thankful for my snoozing baby across the house. Warm dog on feet.
Tired, exhausted, worn out.

I need some BABES, some Jesus and a good ol fashioned BREAK.
Always,
Jesi

The Grocery Cart Story

After all that depressing talk about the Holidays, and the elections which are OVER by the way so enough media for the love of all things, I figured you needed a funny...

Without further ado, the shopping cart story.


It started like any other evening...I picked up Max from daycare and headed home. And then I remembered that I had to feed my dog cheerios the night before because we were out of dog food.

NO LIE on the cheerios...Deuce loved them.

Anyways, I changed my route and headed to Target, Max strapped into his carseat behind me. I peeked back and him and he was O-U-T. In case you weren't aware Max is NOT a sleeper. He prefers to live his life playing, eating, and playing some more until he crashes into a self induced traumatic meltdown that concludes with a brief catnap. Just enough to refresh for a few more hours of play, eat, play.

Normally, I would forgo the lure of Target. But really, my 70 pound chocolate lab cannot continue to live on cheerios. I had to get dog food! As I pulled into the parking lot I cursed my plight as a military mommy. If Rob were home I could give him a call and ask him to pick up the dog food, or I could head home and drop off the baby and go to Target alone, or I could run out later after Max was in bed and Rob hung out playing WOW. So many options not available to this military mommy.

As I pulled Max out of his carseat, he stayed asleep. This is abnormal for the King of Catnaps but whatever. I walked into the store and got a basket, all the while holding my 25 pound monster in one arm. My forearm ached as I headed to the back of the store. And then I reached the pet aisle and looked back and forth from my child, to my cart, to the 30 pound bag of dog food I was buying. Crap!

Suddenly, I had a brilliant idea. I spotted the dog beds, they sure looked comfy. I wonder...if I put this here little dog bed in my cart and ever so gently laid down my child I could at least grab the dog food before he awoke in a rage at the injustice of being dragged to Target after such a long day at daycare.

I slipped the dog bed into the cart. I smushed it down. I ever so gently laid my sleeping child onto the bed, holding my breath for just a few moments of quiet to grab the food and run.

He stayed asleep. In my shopping cart, on a dog bed. In Target.

I grabbed the food and put it underneath. I stood there for a moment laughing. I took a picture. I thought, "I am so blogging about this" and I waited.

HE STAYED ASLEEP!

So like any smart momma I started shopping. People gave me funny looks, they couldn't decide if I was the smartest woman alive or if they should call CPS on me. 30 minutes later, he awoke, in a rage at the injustice of being dragged to Target after such a long day at daycare.

We checked out, we headed home but I couldnt stop giggling at the thought of my monster conked out, in a shopping cart, on a dog bed, in Target.
Always,

Math

I never said I was good at math but here we go...

One case of croup
Two red inner ears
A few new teeth (hiding amongst the gums)
Lots of drool
1 Doctors visit
+
Tylenol
Motrin
Robitussin DM
Vicks SALVE (as Coach G calls it)
1 Cool Mist Humidifier
2 prescriptions
=
4 middle of the night wake ups
30 minutes of cartoons at 3:30AM
2 very tired parents
1 mommy with a headache
1 amazing husband and Daddy who took the last shift
and 1 very tired little boy named Maximus

I never did like Math.
Always,
Jesi

Ideas

Sometimes I wonder why God wired my brain in such an artsy fartsy way...I like to blame my dual personalities and moods on being a Gemini...but I don’t believe in horoscopes so that is out.

Then I like to ponder if it is related to my youth as an only child. After all, without the surrounding of rambunctious siblings I learned to play pretend, make up extravagant imaginary stories and entertain myself for hours.

And it never bothered me. Although I love the 7 brothers that have been gifted to me through my parent’s remarriages, I never minded it either way. Plunk me in a sibling circle or alone in my room and I could get along just fine.

I know that God hardwired my brain with every ounce of ideaism and creativity for His purpose and in case you are new here, I still have no idea what that means. But I’m learning.

It’s funny because our pastors wife said the same thing at the Beautiful Conference the other day...she is so creative that her mind can take her in a million directions, even very far down the path of just one idea before she even blinks again. For her it became a testimony of the power of her thoughts, when she had to learn to turn off the creativity when it started to spin into dark, negative thoughts about the what if’s in life.

For me, it has become a daily practice in discerning what is merely a passing thought or a little bling! wand touch on the head with an idea. Like last night, when I picked up cupcakes for Max’s birthday, and thought about how we don’t have any cupcake stores in Edmond or the OKC metro area (a la Sprinkles for you big city folks) and how I could start a business making cupcakes! Surely it would be successful, and minutes later I had named it, decorated my storefront and had a list running through my mind of all the cute cupcakes I could make and sell...I even dreamed about it last night!

My poor husband gets the bulk of these ideas thrown at him...the best thing is he thinks I could succeed at any of them. He just wants me to pick one and actually do it!

Where does this crazy brain come from? God. Why did he wire me to be so free flowing, creative, crazy, and dream oriented? Not sure yet.

But it’s sure fun to dream...and I’ll let you know when I open my cupcake store.
Always,
Jesi

Girlfriends

Ohhhhhh how I love my girlfriends. I love them almost as much as the crisp fall air that is finally coming my way. Ok, really I love them more than that.

I am a girlfriend type of girl. I always listened to other girls talk about how they got along better with boys and they hated girls. Really? Not me, I will take a pretty smelling, nice talking, encouraging, girlfriend over a smelly boy any day.

In middle school, I had a close knit group of girlfriends. I marvel at how we stayed friends when we were so mean to each other at times! And we made each other pass out and call boys that we didn’t even like that much. And I took some of them to high school with me.

In high school I had a pretty large group of girlfriends. And varied we were, by the end of our four years we had taken pretty different paths. We were growing apart but we loved each other nonetheless. In fact we loved each other enough to do a yearbook page together, now that is love.

In college, I took some of those same girlfriends with me. I pledged Delta Zeta with one of my best friends and then convinced my bestie amongst all besties that she had to do it too. She did. And I can’t imagine my college years without her. Sadly, most, but not all of those high school friendships melted and cooled as new bonds of sisterhood were born in dirty houses and late night terrorizing trips to the fraternity houses. We laughed, we loved, we cried, we fought, we screamed at each other and we always made up with tearful hugs at turtle talks. (Don’t ask)

I loved those girls that surrounded me those four years. And I still love them. More than the cool crisp autumn air that blows around me. They are a life blood that keeps me laughing and young, crying, celebrating and mourning together as life forces us from college girls worried about homecoming games to adults worried about life. We hold tightly together in our brief moments together.

I love my girlfriends and I am so thankful to have them in my life. I can’t imagine my life only surrounded by smelly boys. And Lord knows I will probably have all boys in my house. I need my nice smelling, lovely, beautiful, brave, smart, challenging, real girlfriends. They make my heart fuller. My cup runneth over.

Always,

Sometimes you have to be innovative

It started like any other evening...I picked up Max from daycare and headed home. And then I remembered that I had to feed my dog cheerios the night before because we were out of dog food.

NO LIE on the cheerios...Deuce loved them.

Anyways, I changed my route and headed to Target, Max strapped into his carseat behind me. I peeked back and him and he was O-U-T. In case you weren't aware Max is NOT a sleeper. He prefers to live his life playing, eating, and playing some more until he crashes into a self induced traumatic meltdown that concludes with a brief catnap. Just enough to refresh for a few more hours of play, eat, play.

Normally, I would forgo the lure of Target. But really, my 70 pound chocolate lab cannot continue to live on cheerios. I had to get dog food! As I pulled into the parking lot I cursed my plight as a military mommy. If Rob were home I could give him a call and ask him to pick up the dog food, or I could head home and drop off the baby and go to Target alone, or I could run out later after Max was in bed and Rob hung out playing WOW. So many options not available to this military mommy.

As I pulled Max out of his carseat, he stayed asleep. This is abnormal for the King of Catnaps but whatever. I walked into the store and got a basket, all the while holding my 25 pound monster in one arm. My forearm ached as I headed to the back of the store. And then I reached the pet aisle and looked back and forth from my child, to my cart, to the 30 pound bag of dog food I was buying. Crap!

Suddenly, I had a brilliant idea. I spotted the dog beds, they sure looked comfy. I wonder...if I put this here little dog bed in my cart and ever so gently laid down my child I could at least grab the dog food before he awoke in a rage at the injustice of being dragged to Target after such a long day at daycare.

I slipped the dog bed into the cart. I smushed it down. I ever so gently laid my sleeping child onto the bed, holding my breath for just a few moments of quiet to grab the food and run.

He stayed asleep. In my shopping cart, on a dog bed. In Target.

I grabbed the food and put it underneath. I stood there for a moment laughing. I took a picture. I thought, "I am so blogging about this" and I waited.

HE STAYED ASLEEP!

So like any smart momma I started shopping. People gave me funny looks, they couldn't decide if I was the smartest woman alive or if they should call CPS on me. 30 minutes later, he awoke, in a rage at the injustice of being dragged to Target after such a long day at daycare.

We checked out, we headed home but I couldnt stop giggling at the thought of my monster conked out, in a shopping cart, on a dog bed, in Target.
Always,