ECO JOE

Probably a month ago I had several people tell me I needed to bury a St. Joseph statue in my yard to help sell our house. Now we are non denominational, in fact we go to  THAT church that people think is a hand raising, loud music "church of whats happening now" as my friend Julie's Dad used to call it. So even though people think we are weird I totally think old religious wives tales like burying a saint in your yard is weird!

On a whim, Rob and I looked it up one day because, well, we are tired! We are tired of keeping our house as close to show ready as we can and shuffling our 4 kids and giant dog out of the house several times a week for showings and getting no offers. We are frustrated I am frustrated and I am trying really hard to surrender it to God but I am a control freak. It's a daily issue for me and I keep on wrestling it instead of laying it down.

ANYWAYS, we were amazed at how many "house selling kits" there are on Amazon! But our favorite was Eco Joe :)

I mean seriously, the packaging kills me. "The Hardest Working Saint in Real Estate" "He's a Natural, won't harm the Earth!" "The Original Eco-Friendly Home Selling Kit" Whoever came up with Eco Joe is a genius.

But alas, despite my part time cloth diapering (which is on hold due to house selling) I am not very Eco Friendly because I opted for the cheapest option I could find. Our St. Joseph Home Selling Kit retailed for $4.99 and included directions, a prayer card asking St. Joseph to intercede on behalf of us and St. Joe himself. He is not Eco-Friendly but you are supposed to take him to your next home and display him as a thanks to God anyways so I don't need him decomposing on me.

I buried him upside down, facing the house, underneath my DZ turtle in my front flower bed...we will see what kind of intercession he brings us.



Oh Snap

Don't you love when God speaks a word to your heart that feels like a whallop upside the head? No? Oh yeah, me either!

This morningI was getting ready for church, alone, as the kids were playing in the living room and Rob is at drill. I was thinking about the showing scheduled for our house today and throwing a wee bit of a pity party. I was trying to determine a word to describe how I feel about selling our house and HOPELESS seemed to be the one echoing in my mind.

Let me say that feeling hopeless when your house has been on the market for just 2 months and had 30-40 showings is just plain re-donk-u-lous. I can be dramatic, it's the gemini in me.

And then, SMACK!

God totally spoke to me and it was in the form of a head smack.

"So if I don't do what YOU want in YOUR timeline then it's hopeless?"

Oh snap! Umm, no that's not what I meant...

"Don't you think I know how to handle this? You keep praying for my will but what if this waiting IS my will? Don't you know I have this?"

Oh. Um, yes God, I do, thanks for the reminder.

"Now get to church and get ready for my word"

Allrighty then.

I felt better, I even smiled, almost felt like laughing. It's like when your parents lovingly teasingly call you out on your drama.

Thanks Father, I needed that whallop.

Patience is not my virtue

And I wonder why my kids are so impatient?

Our house has been on the market for a few weeks now! We are so thankful that we are seeing quite a bit of action. I think we are up to 16 showings now and we are waiting impatiently for the perfect buyer to make an offer. I know God has our back and I flip flop back and forth daily on my feelings about it. In the midst of worship I realize how blessed we are and know that if we never move that we still have so many things to be thankful and grateful for. What is a house but a simple surrounding for a family.

And then I step on a lego and desperately wish for more room.

God knows my gemini multiple personality spaztastic ways. And guess what, He loves me anyways!

Pray for my patience...and my sanity next time I have to mad rush around clean the house, load up 4 kids, 1 dog and myself for another showing. Maybe, just maybe, that will be the one!

Easier Said than Done.

I know I am not the only person out there who struggles with this.

My Verse.

If I had to pick a verse that is all mine this would be it. This verse singlehandedly gets me through the toughest times, the most confusing phases and all the stages in between. This verse brings me peace. I have it memorized simply because when my bipolar gemini tendencies jump into play it helps me to focus and remember that God has my back. Even in moments of near panic attack anxiety I recite this to calm myself down. In moments of question, doubt, worry, stress and fear, and definitely when the enemy whispers lies into my ears I remind myself of this.

For I KNOW the plans I have for declares the Lord, plans to PROSPER you, and NOT to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE.

So here is the struggle. Perfect example, selling our house. I volley back and forth like a beach ball of emotion. My internal dialogue has multiple personalities that read like a one man play.

"We are never going to sell this house and I need to start accepting how to raise 4 kids in a small space. There are people in China who live in eetsy teeny apartments and you are complaining about 1600 square feet? Do you know how many people would rejoice for 1600 square feet?"

"This house is driving me insane. I can't keep track of anything and we are stuffed to the gills. If I step on another lego I am throwing them all away. Too many toys"

"Toys, maybe I should rent a pod and put up even more toys than I already have. How can I get rid of all of our toys and manage to entertain all these kids?"

"For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and hope"

"Yes Lord, you know my intentions, you know the desires of my heart. You have perfect timing when we submit to your will. I know you are going to work everything out perfectly so that we don't end up in an apartment or in a home that is not right. Every home that we don't get is not the right home or you would work it out. Thank you for reminding me, I trust you. Lord help me to give it up to you"

"Maybe I should redo the kitchen, I hate those oak cabinets and if there was white cabinets with a white backsplash it would look so clean and crisp. I wonder if that would help. Oh Wait I already decided to wait, Yes wait. Our house has been on the market 3 weeks, Jessica! Three Weeks! That is nothing, what am I stressed out about after 3 weeks? In 60-90 days I will make changes if it is still on the market"

"What am I stressed out about? Oh yeah, showing a house with 4 kids under the age of 4. Yeah that, this is torture, I can't keep this house clean! I need a maid...should I hire someone to come in and clean once a week, maybe Fridays"

"Fridays, its Friday! No showings today? Hmmm, not good. Ahh Friday I have so many costumes to work on for work. Why am I worrying about nonexistent house showings when I have a house to clean, no maid and work to do, no nanny?"

"For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans to prosper you (crap is that toast burning?) to give you a future and hope"

"Oh yeah God, thanks again for that reminder, take this stress away, help me to focus on what needs to be done and submit to you, again. Sorry bout that"

Toast is burnt, kids are calling.

Please tell me I am not alone! Why is it so much easier to tell others that God has a perfect plan than to remember it ourselves? Why is it easier to allow a 1000 thoughts to run through our brains at all moments of the day instead of pausing and focusing on what is TRUTH? I guess thats our human nature, the constant battle between flesh and faith. With a good dose of house selling, 4 kids and 1 scatterbrained mom thrown into the mix.

Hello 2012

I can't seem to wrap my head around it being 2012! I keep writing 2011 on checks and looking at old calendars. Mommy-brain or denial?

Max will turn FIVE this year. Stella will be 2! The twins will have a first birthday bash! We are gaining another nephew this year. My parents moved 1000's of miles away. Our house is for sale. We will move to a new home this year! I want to garden and sew more and plan big kid rooms. We are fasting as Christ followers to give the first of our year to Him in spirit. Max will start pre-k this year! We hope to pay off our van, save more, spend less and give more. My best friend is getting married on my birthday! We are aiming to eat better healthier foods this year, less meat, less sugar and less processed foods. We want to work out and move more. We want to grow closer to God and learn more about Him. we want to lead our kids to become followers of Christ and model that life for them. We want to grow closer together and make our marriage a priority despite our brood of littles. We want to serve others and love people more. We want to be more like Him and less like everyone else.

We have great plans for the New Year but most of all we have great HOPE in Jesus! Thank you Lord for every blessing, every challenge, every gift, every sacrifice, everything you place in our path.

Always,
The C Family

Tip Someone!

What a great first and second day of our month of Thankfulness!

Yesterday was our first day and we started by Turkey'ing *yes I made that word up* our neighbors! It was a fun way to show a little neighborly appreciation and Max really liked it. He has started saying we are celebrating Nicegiving this month.

At the end of the night, after a long day we HAD to go grocery shopping. I don't know about anyone else but we get paid 2x per month. October was a longgggggggggg month with the second half having 3 weekends! We are also attempting to honor God more with our finances so we are paying a lot extra towards our few debts and that leaves very little "extra" to go around. It's a Dave Ramsey way of thinking but it gets a little panicky when you have $3 left at the end of the month (after saving, tithing and budgeting everything else). But God IS faithful and our finances are already lightened for November which we are thankful for!

Rob stayed home with Stella, Jackson and Presley while Max and I went shopping. We loaded our cart up and spent a good chunk on groceries. We had a FULL cart and a HUGE bag of dogfood so when the young teenage boy offered to help us out (which ONLY happens at Crest, never at Target or Walmart) we accepted. His friend came up in the parking lot and helped as well. I saw the perfect opportunity to do another ROAK for our month of Thankfulness. I whispered to Max and asked if he would like to bless these young men for helping us. Of course he was excited to do so! We got out a little cash that I had in my wallet and Max tipped each of them. You could tell that they were surprised and they shut all my doors and told me to have a GREAT night (with a maam thrown in there too, sigh :))

Max was also BEGGING for a spiderman toothbrush and toothpaste so I let him pick it out IF he picked something out for Stella. We decided on a Hello Kitty toothbrush and Disney Princess toothpaste. She was in bed when we got home but he got to give it to her this morning. She LOVED it and he kept talking about how it was nice to take care of your little sister when you are a big brother. Melt my heart.

Today I am thankful for SIBLINGS and my sweet kids who are learning how to be kind to others and each other. Growing up an only child I never got that super close sibling bond until later. I am greatly blessed by all of my stepbrothers and half brother, my brother in law and sister in law and especially brothers sweet wives. It's nice to have siblings.

photo from Sarah Billheimer Photography

Always,
Jesi

A Month of Thankfulness!

Tomorrow we start November and we are inching closer to Thanksgiving! I can't believe how quickly time seems to be going by this year. The twins will be 5 months old on November 7th, Stella is 18 months and Max is FOUR!

Something that I think is really important to Rob and I in our parenting is teaching our children to be grateful. There are SO MANY adults and kids today that have a HUGE sense of entitlement and it drives me bananas. Instead of being grateful for the blessings that we are given we are constantly on the hunt for more or unsatisfied, even when our every need is filled. We are not perfect and can definitely be guilty of this as well!

In an effort to remember just how blessed we are as a family, we are going to be celebrating November with a Month of Thankfulness and Gratefulness! We plan to show our appreciation for those around us with random acts of kindness and little things that just say THANK YOU!

Some ideas that I have for the month are...

1. Make treats and take them to the fire house down the street. These firefighters are the ones who responded to our scary 911 call with Max last year.
2. Send treats to Mommy and Daddy's coworkers.
3. Give a $5 gas card to someone.
4. Leave a $1 by the coffee machine at a gas station.
5. Donate our old clothes to friends and others.
6. Donate toys we don't play with anymore.
7. Turkey our neighbors with a surprise on their doorstep.
8. Visit the Oklahoma Food Bank and donate canned goods and $ for meals.
9. Pick up trash somewhere.
10. Take a treat to our LifeKids Director at church.
11. Give an offering at church.
12. Make dinner for friends.
13. Take old towels and treats to the local animal shelter.
14. Write a Thank You card to a friend.
15. Send a TS gift to someone just to say we love you.
16. Leave candy for the mailman.
17. Adopt a kid for Christmas.
18. Leave change on a vending machine.
19. Treat our sitter to a sonic drink.
20. Take a coffee to our MDO director.
21. Bring breakfast for our MDO teachers.
22. Leave nice notes on bathroom or dressing room mirrors for the ladies.
23. Make a military care package for a deployed soldier.
24. Take a dinner to a military wife.
25. Pay for the person behind us somewhere.
26. Pray for a friend.
27. Call our grandparents just to say Hi.
28. Tip the teenage boys who helped us take our groceries out.
29. Give a gift to our siblings!
30. Adopt a family for Christmas.

Other little things we want to do are be kind, smile at strangers, teach Max to open doors for ladies and the elderly, put carts back at stores, let someone cut in line, give more hugs, say Thank You to everyone, complain less, laugh more and pray often!

I don't know that we will get close to doing everything on our list but we are excited to show others that we are thankful for them!

Our month was inspired by this!
http://ticklestogiggles.blogspot.com/2010/05/my-birthday-was-awesome.html

Tithing and Praises

I have written about tithing a lot on here. We firmly believe in the tithe and I am so thankful that its one area where we have easily agreed. BUT you can still tithe and not be the best stewards of your finances. Rob and I noticed our spending was less than ideal over the summer so we decided to rein it back in. It's hard! We cut back several bills and severely cut our spending and it seems like things are REALLY really tight. I was worried about an outstanding check hitting our account this week. Just as I fretted and freaked and had a few tears, Rob reminded me that I AM NOT IN CONTROL. God HAS THIS. He is BIGGER than this. He WILL honor our tithes and offerings.

And bam, Rob checked the mail and there was a check that made up the difference for what we needed. Almost to the dot.

God is SO good. He won't ever leave us hanging.

He is Faithful

He is.

Recently I got such an awesome reminder of that. There was something that I had been struggling with for about a year and a half. I really really wanted Rob and I to join a Life Group. We had been invited to one with a friend of mine but I work on the night they have theirs. I was so sad because I really really enjoy all of the people in their group. But it just didn't work out. Then when we were close to having Stella it just wasn't a good time. We needed to spend that time focused on our relationship first and then worry about a small group later. Being pregnant with the twins and working and being a momma to M&S and being a husband to Rob took a lot out of me last year and our schedule was packed. There just wasn't a good time to commit to a weekly group.

On top of that Rob was hesitant. Rob is an amazing leader for our family but the idea of going to someones house, who we didn't know and "sharing" was intimidating. Heck I am the extrovert here and it intimidated me! Plus it seemed like every group met on Weds nights...the night I work at the dance studio.

All I have done for the past 3-4 months is pray about it. I say that's "all" but really isn't that "everything" Prayer works friends.

Then we entered a series at our church that was ALL about connecting. There was a LG connection event that I really wanted us to attend and Stella was sick.

The next week we sat through an entire service about HOW and WHY you should join a LG and what EXCUSES were preventing it.

Are you seeing the pattern here? God was slowly beating me over the head with a 2x4! Literally within the HOUR I got a text inviting us to check out a LG. OH I wanted to but I just knew they met on Weds. NOPE they meet on Thursdays and the campus across town offers childcare. FREE childcare.

I talked it over with Rob and we decided to give it a shot. I am SO thankful we did. We really enjoyed it and felt very comfortable. I am excited to get to know the other women better and for us to enjoy this weekly time as a couple.

He is FAITHFUL. Even when things don't come in our time, or things don't seem to be working out...eventually in HIS time HE WILL MOVE. He is faithful, all the time!

Always,
Jesi

L is for Light

L is for Light

We started preschool at home this week with Max and I am so pleased with how he is doing! It was an absolutely CRAZY week to start and I wasn't 100% ready to get started. He kept asking to do school stuff so we just sort of started with a bang. This week we are studying the letter L using our Raising Rockstars Preschool Curriculum.

So far this week we have....

~Put Together our Learning Board

memory verse, life lesson, song, weather, show off section and highlights

~Practiced L's

~Learned that L is for Lego!

~Worked on our memory verse

matthew 5:16

~Cutting practice with our memory verse

cutting and pasting

~Learned L is for Lorax

~Worked on our L slideshows from RRSP and on Starfall.com

~L is for Listen and talked about our Life Lesson

{I can obey Mommy and Daddy. I can be kind to others. I can learn about God. I can tell the truth. I can share. I can show love to others. I can be brave. I can tell others about Jesus}

~Learned L is for Light and played with a new laser sword and glow necklaces

It's been a lot of fun to learn with Max this week and he really surprised me with his memory verse! I am so proud that he is starting to remember his verse for the week! He struggles a little bit with lettering so we go at his pace and do it casually when he wants to. It's been a fun week and I can't wait to finish up the letter L next week using our new workboxes!.

"Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in Heaven"

Matthew 5:16

A few times Max has substituted the word Daddy for Father which I think is sweet. He definitely loves both his earthly and heavenly Daddy's!

Always,

Jesi

Live from Oklahoma Cityyyyyyyyyyy

I am excited to share that I am going to be on live tv next week!

What I really want to do is throw up from nerves :) but I am genuinely excited. I have been a food tv watcher my entire life so I kind of get to pretend that I have my own cooking show for an entire 5 minutes.

i will pretend that I am paula deen...that will boost my self confidence!

So here's the deal, it's Monday at 11AM on the show "All About You" which is on local channel KSBI OK 52. I will be doing a 4-5 minute cooking demo on easy summer recipes featuring our AWESOME Tastefully Simple products. We will be celebrating National Panini Month which should be fun. I have a LOT of prep work to do and I need to get some timing practice in the next few days.

I know it might seem silly but I honestly feel like God is blessing my TS business and it reassures me that I am in the right spot. Sales is never an "easy" job but it's one of the most prevalent in our nation! How many people are in some sort of sales? We are all selling something! Heck, even bloggers are selling themselves to their readers!

gotta love our beautiful marketing!

To God be the GLORY for this super fun experience. I pray that anyone out there who is looking for a way to bring in extra income to their family or needs to experience Tastefully Simple in some way will be tuned in a watching. God can use ANYTHING to bring Glory to HIM!

Always,

Jesi

Food for Thought

What would you do if you never worried about what other people think?

Create an Atmosphere of Worship

I'm not posting this because I am good at it, rather as a reminder to myself!

Today I got in a tizzy because I wasn't able to get ANYTHING done. Every time I tried to stand up one of the twins would start fussing and Stella was being needy and Max was running around getting into things and I was feeling overwhelmed. I called Rob, just to tell him I was going crazy. He gets a lot of those calls these days ;)

I decided to snap out of it. I reminded myself that babies cry. I put them down and took Max and Stella into the kitchen. We baked a chocolate cake for Rob to say "Thanks for being a great dad and the kind of husband who lets me off duty after you worked for 12 hours to let me take a bath and fall asleep for an hour." And by bake I mean we mixed up a Tastefully Simple chocolate pound cake which takes 3 minutes!

Then I got out my devotional and did it.

I was feeling better already. I blared some worship music and turned the tv off. I cleaned the kitchen while Max decided he was Jacksons babysitter, meaning he sat next to him and replaced his paci every time he cried out. Once my kitchen was clean I felt so much better. There are SO MANY days when my house looks like it got hit by a tornado and it really leaves me feeling out of control. If I can manage to keep things just a little cleaner I feel better. Relieved I went back to the living room and let the music play. I started singing along and Stella started dancing. I love how kids instinctually raise their hands to music. Max started singing along with me. Holding a content baby, watching another one sleep, dancing along with Stella and hearing Max belt out HOLY HOLY HOLY IS THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTYYYYYYYY. There was some serious worship happening in our house.

It's really easy to get caught up in the moment to moment challenges that come with motherhood. If we can just pause, at least once per day to remember our blessings and create an atmosphere of worship we might all feel just a tiny bit better. I know it worked today in my house!
Always,
Jesi

Ya Gotta Love Beth Moore

I have always wanted to be good at journaling. But I'm not. I start and then I stop and then I lose the journal. And then I find it 2 years later and throw it away. I am drawn to cute notebooks and stationary but then it just takes up space in our already cluttered house.

When we first brought home the twins every day was a challenge. I would wake up in the morning and I felt like I had to mentally plan out my battle plan of surviving 4 small children. I needed a pick me up, a morning OOMPH to get me going and I knew what I really needed was Gods Word. So I started looking for a good morning devotional but nothing really caught my eye.

I stumbled upon this devotional and I instantly thought it would be a good match. It's a devotional and journal in one which is exactly what I was looking for. The devotions are just 2 pages but insightful and thought provoking. They include scripture and point you to areas to read in your own Bible. It was perfect. Lo and behold it was written by the southern queen of bible study Ms. Beth Moore. Ya Gotta Love Beth Moore!

It's been a few weeks and I am really enjoying it. Its based on her book Get Out of That Pit and really focuses on Psalms 40. I love that it really emphasizes how God will provide for us and that our struggles are not in vain.

Most importantly it is biblically sound and its the perfect way to start your day as a busy mama.

Always,
Jesi

Survival Mode

Back in the saddle againnnnnnnnnnnnnn....

It's Army time. Well the Army called and my amazing husband is spending some time finishing some needed trainings. God willing they will allow him to be promoted which would be a big blessing! Both to him and his dedication to his military service and financially as well.

Meanwhile back at the ranch, we are in survival mode. Well newborn + toddler = new routine, tired mama, postpartum emotional breakdowns survival mode. It's been a crazy two weeks since Stella joined our family and so far she has proven herself to be much easier than her big brother. And the thought of Rob leaving for training didn't really phase me too much. After all he will only be gone for a very short amount of time compared to our previous deployments. And he will be home super soon. And he got to spend more time with us before he left than he did when Max was born. And...it still hit me harder than I thought.

I know LOGICALLY that this is NOT a deployment. I know logically he will be home soon and not gone for a year and we don't have to worry about his safety or foreign countries or readjustment, but dang! It's still hard to be a momma to a VERY VERY energetic 2.5 year old and a 2 week old. It's a bit much to get out of bed 7 times in less than 7 hours. It's just a lot to take in and a lot of it is emotionally trying because I feel myself reliving the experience I had when Max was born and Rob DID deploy.

So survival mode is now in place. Just like when he left when Max was 10 days old and I had to escape the house everyday for my own sanity we are going to be doing the SAME thing, this time with two in tow. Expect a lot more posts in the coming weeks, its my own form of escapism to blog and it's a great way for Rob to stay inside my head when we are seperated by the miles.

Tomorrow's survival plan
~Shopping for craft supplies for a super cool GROUP project I am a part of
   (curtailed from todays plans by the wicked hail storm we had here!)
~Stopping by Mardel to pick up the book "Five in a Row" and to let Max play with the train table.
~On the homefront-dishes and putting away the clean laundry in preparation to DO the dirty laundry

Figuring it out!
Jesi

My Prayer Peeps

It's late at night and tomorrow Max and I leave for Dallas/Ft Worth so I wanted to post before we are gone. I am attending TS on Tour *which I am SUPER duper excited for* and Max is spending the weekend with my dad, stepmom and little brother Ty. I made the distinct mistake of telling him today that we were going to see Grandpa Lloyd, Grandma JuJu and Uncle Ty and he has been hollering at me ALL day about Ty. Everytime our silly dog barks he screams TY's HERE! Tomorrow is not a concept he is familiar with.

Tonight was the last night of The Temple study that we were doing in my womens bible study. Natalie really went above and beyond to make tonight special and connect all the dots for us ladies. It was a beautiful night of reflection and as I sat and looked around the room I felt a keen sense of connectedness with the ladies around me. It was a true picture of the body of Christ. All different people, personalities, looks, sizes, shapes, colors, struggles, hurts, joys, backgrounds, family situations and perceptions. But we are united in Christ. He joins us together and seeing tear filled eyes around me I knew that as women we often struggle with the SAME things. No matter of our size, background and history, we are bonded by our gender. I love what Natalie said about the devil. 1) We are not stupid and 2) he is not original. That is so so true. he is NOT original and he uses the SAME tools and tricks and lies against all of us women day in and day out. Recognizing his lies and deciphering God's TRUTH for our lives is so important.

I just wanted to say thank you to my prayer peeps. We talked about this tonight too, surrounding yourself with people who you can call/email/text/facebook and say I need prayer! People we can be vulnerable with and let our guards down for true support.

So here are mine.

Rob
My awesome husband. He knows exactly who I am and loves me despite seeing my ugliest truths and most unbecoming inner secrets. I know if I need his love and support, his shoulder or his ear he is ALWAYS there.

My Momma
I love my momma. My mom is strong, helpful, encouraging and faithful. She reminds me that we are on the right track and that we are right to trust in Him. She is my biggest cheerleader and my most honest supporter. I love her and I covet her prayers.

Kera Don
My "lil" is a true blessing to me. Her raw emotions and openness to share her struggles allow me to be the mentor that God desires I be. I can be 100% honest with her and I never ever feel weird, judged or freakish. She is the best.

Summer
My dear dear friend. She shares a name with Stella (her first name is Catherine and Stella's mn will be Katherine) and I couldn't think of a better person to honor. She is smart, kind and seriously seriously a steadfast support to me. She is always understanding, always available and always goes above and beyond for our friendship.

Savanah
My oldest, nearest and dearest. Sweet Savanah is loved around the world but I still feel like I get a special tiny place in her heart that is just for me and mine. I love that about her. We are too busy to spend as much time together as we would like but I adore that it never matters. I can call her bawling my head off and she will stop me right there and pray for me. She is never too busy to pray for me and I don't hesitate to know that she thinks of me and prays for me often. I love knowing I have such a woman of faith in my corner and petitioning God for me.

My Stepmom
Also known as Grandma JuJu, Julia was a big influence on my decision to become a Christ follower and she has never stopped encouraging me. She tells me when God places me on her heart and she follows through when she tells you that she is praying for you. She is filled with His words and His wisdom.

Katrina
My boss' loverly wife Katrina is ah-mazing. She is so intelligent and filled up with Him that I have really loved gleaning from her. She might be surprised to be on this list but she shouldn't be, because if I need prayer I know one ah-mazing prayer mama I am turning to and it's her.

Codie
My twinsie, we aren't sisters but we might as well be. Codie is so amazingly honest that you don't have to feel awkward about your own shortcomings and struggles. She is smart, hilarious and she turns a serious conversation into a laughfest, still always being a loving encouraging openminded faithful friend. She is no doubt one of the first people that I can call on in a time of need and I know she would answer. She just rocks. My socks off.

Jackie
aka my Armymomma! Jackie was my deployment buddy when Rob was gone and I have LOVED LOVED LOVED being able to pray for her through our experiences. She is so graced by faith and determination and I adore that we share a belief system and a strong reliance on our Heavenly Father to carry us through the days that we cannot seem to stand on our own. love. jackie. period.

HeatherS
My sweet momma friend. Heather is so amazing at filling my life with friendship. I told Rob the other day I am going to be such a bawlbag when she packs up and leaves me. (dang military) Heather is everything I could ask for in a friend and I am so thankful that He intersected our paths in this time. We sorta need eachother in a way that only military mommas understand.

So those are my prayer peeps. The ones I love. The ones I know I can call on. Thank you for being the bestest people I could ever surround myself with. I am so grateful for each of you.

Love,
Jesi

Slamming Doors

First off after I posted about waiting I heard this song by John Waller and I LOVED it for those who are currently in a season of waiting.

While I'm Waiting

In other news God keeps slamming doors shut and I am figuring out how to accept it and be grateful. There is a LONG backstory but essentially there is something in my life that has been an up and down journey. At one point it even became an idol to me. I hate admitting that but I am sure we all have those things. We talked about it in Bible Study this week and Natalie really encouraged us to be open to asking God to reveal ANYTHING that might be an idol to us. If you don't know what I am talking about I would say you should investigate if something is an idol for you if it causes neglect from your relationship with God and/or you lack neccesary restraint when it comes to that matter.

So it was an interesting study for me. I already pinpointed this thing as an idol for my life several years ago. Thankfully and painfully God pretty much ripped it from my life. It left me shaken and upset and there are fragile threads that remain from that situation. Looking back I am so THANKFUL that He removed it for me because I don't know that I would ever be where I am today in my personal relationship with Him if not for that painful encounter.

BUT there are still some emotionally jagged edges that remain. And try and try as I might I can't help but feel the cuts sometimes. It's a matter of pride really. My human nature feels a great deal of painful rejection and self examination each time He slams shut a door regarding this thing. It's hard. I can sit here and feel two emotions at the same time. Logically I know that when I toe the line it does me NO good. I cannot sit here and say that I could be involved again without letting it become idolatry again. So why would I seek that? Thank you Lord for taking away the opportunity for something to become jammed between us once again.

In the same moments I feel hurt. I feel like I did everything right and by the book and fantastically on paper. There is no logical reason for the rejection. But it still happens over and over and over again. Oh yeah, that's God slamming those doors for me. But it still hurts a little.

It's a molding process. He is shaping me and taking away things that are not of Him and not drawing me closer to Him. I am so grateful for that despite the pain.

"This world has nothing for me and this world has everything

All that I could want and nothing that I need
This world has nothing for me and this world has everything

All that I could want and nothing that I need"
This World by Caedmon's Call

waiting and obedience

Man I hate to wait.

I don't have a lot of patience. Well somedays I do! Somedays when Max moves at a snails pace, taking an average of 32 minutes to move towards me to get dressed or changed or whatever I just smile and relax. Other days I grab him and get him moving. My patience level comes and goes with a regular sense of irregularity.

After my last post I started thinking about how I felt when I was in a stage of waiting. I was a working mama for 2 years and I am quite proud that I managed to not pull my hair out while managing a thriving business in a crazy industry, my tastefully simple business, social obligations, family, friends, my husband, max and half of that time was during our deployment. I don't regret going back to work after Max was born. Rob was deployed and quite honestly a neverending 24 hour cycle of me and max and me and max and just me and max was not doing much to improve what I had left of my sanity. The regular and predictable schedule of our days helped pass the time. My friends at work made me laugh and took my mind off of the things I tried hard not to think about. My paychecks amplified our ability to pay off debt and figure out how to be better stewards of all that we are given.

Despite the positives I wasn't happy with my career. I wanted something much greater than a title and a raise. I wanted to enjoy what I did and that was where I struggled. I remember when I figured out the problem. (I) had followed MY path with little consideration as to what God wanted from my life. In college (I) decided that if (I) could pick any job (I) would be a wedding planner. How (I) stumbled into that exact job is comical. (I) was 2nd picks for the position and only through my annoying follow up calls did (I) happen to get hired.(I)ronic that just one year into my career that (I) chose (I) was miserable.

In that time frame I submitted my job to God. I prayed for strength to handle the daily challenges. I prayed for change. I prayed that I would get this job or that job or another job.

He said No.

And I waited.

I never desired to be a stay at home mom. Those women who chose to do so seemed like they were a planet away from my desires. I didn't understand why you would go to college and then decide to not work in your field. I didn't get it.

Once Max was born I understood WHY other mothers chose to stay at home with their kids. It was HARD to leave my 12 week old at daycare. It was HARD to juggle everything. It was hard to put him to bed at 7:30, exhausted from a day surrounded by other kids and noise and know that I missed out on a lot.

BUT I STILL DIDN'T DESIRE TO STAY AT HOME.

I was simply waiting for a DIFFERENT job.

In those last 3 years that I worked God taught me a lot about waiting and obedience. And in that time HE changed my heart. Out of nowhere I started to consider what would be ideal. Ideally I would work part time. I love being around people and accomplishing things. I like checking off a to-do list and helping to achieve something greater than myself. I like spending time with coworkers and getting to know people. I enjoyed those things. Even our pesky deployment reinforced the theme that God was revealing to me day by day. WAIT. And while you wait, OBEY.

Somehow through those years my heart was softened to staying at home. And gradually each tear streaked strand of our life, stained with His No's and strengthened by the Wait were woven together to form a new plan for our family. Somehow He used every challenge and every struggle to paint a picture of what I desired...before I even knew that I desired it.

It is only possible for me to be at home now because of our obedience, the wait, the deployment, our schedules, doors that were closed, other doors that were opened, two part time jobs, circumstances changing and hearts that were open to His plan. All of those worked together for our good even though sometimes they didn't feel good. At all.

There is NOTHING wrong with being a working mom, a stay at home mom or any combination of the two. What is RIGHT is being obedient to what HE desires for your family. It may change in the coming years. It may not. You might live your plan from the get go, or you might have to take 772 detours to get where you need to be. You might be blessed enough to find your place tomorrow, or He might ask you to wait, and wait, and wait some more. What is most important is your willingness to be obedient to what He determines is best for you and yours. What does that mean for you?

Jesi

For His Glory

Can I just say that I LOVE my Womens Bible Study. It has seriously been exactly what I needed. I wish that my thoughts after each week were more cohesive. I know I blabber on and on and you probably don't even understand what I am trying to get at. But that's ok. It's really a work between me and Him and that is why I sit down to write it out. I want to remember and reflect on the things that He is revealing to me. And by golly this blog is where that's gonna happen.

I talked a little bit about it before but I have been really pressed on to focus on the mind games and all the head junk that go along with my struggles with a healthy body. Well when God opened that lovely door to this Bible Study He knew exactly where he was sending me.

I want to talk more about that but I first I want to talk about last week.

Let me be honest. It's been over a week since last weeks study and my brain is a little foggy. And that's ok because what I DO remember is probably one of the most important things that Natalie touched on.

God always ALWAYS always reveals HIS glory before He reveals his character.

What the heck does that mean?

Well in the Bible we read a lot of stories regarding the tabernacle in which He literally would bring down His glory before He would reveal WHO he WAS to those people. We're talking heavy clouds of glory or flames, or fires. Now that is some glory. Only after that would He let the people know who He was. A good God, a kind God, a God deserving of our praise. But first yall, He was sure to let us know exactly how glorious He is. Glory first-character second.

We don't get that these days. We don't see a cloud press down on the sky before God booms out who He is. But nothing has changed. God is in it for His Glory. We as his temple are here to proclaim HIS glory. Not our own. It's really not about us. It's not about our pride, our strengths, our struggles, our successes, our preferences, our comfort or discomfort. It's about bringing Glory to HIM.

I started thinking about how much our life has changed in the past year. We have made some BIG decisions as a family. Probably the biggest is that we decided that I would quit my job to stay at home with Max and return to VSA working part time. We prayed about it and thought about it and analyzed it and we finally decided that was the best thing for us. Well it has been. I love being home with Max. I love that we are being gifted with Stella and that it's welcome and wonderful because we don't have to fear spending two thousand dollars per month on childcare. I love that I get to snuggle with my baby boy in the mornings and that my house is fairing better and that I get to do things for Rob that I might not have done before. I love those things and I am so grateful that we sought God on that decision. That He led us to this place. That essentially He ok'd our plan and we have been blessed and provided for over and over again.

But it's not about US. It's not about any of that.

If God is truly interested in His glory then HE ALLOWED us to be in this situation because it brings more Glory to HIM.

What brings more glory to God? Our family having two working parents, me making a pretty good income with some cushy perks and a cool title but hating the day to day grind. OR me staying at home with our kiddos, pretty dang poor on paper yet ALWAYS provided for, ALWAYS blessed, everything ALWAYS working out in our favor. In which of those situations does the Glory fall to Him? From my opened eyes I feel like THAT is why I am staying at home. Yes I love Max and I love being at home and I love not dreading Monday mornings. But what I really love is people wondering how the heck we can swing it? How does that work? We have everything we need and often more. But if you looked at our income on paper you would probably laugh and think we are crazy. We KNOW that all things are provided for us because of our faithfulness to tithe and our belief in His provisions. So to people who do not understand those things our life NOW is a testimony to His faithfulness. Our life now reflects back to Him. Our life now doesn't always afford us the luxury of extra. But our life now ALWAY affords us the luxury of pointing the glory back to Him. And that's what He is all about. His Glory.


To God Alone be the Glory.
Jesi

God is cool. *a very long post*

Well you might already know that but I'm just sayin.

Last night I met my sister in law Danielle to attend a womens bible study that is through our newer church. Something that was really important to me in changing churches was that we get more connected and form more relationships within the church. Unfortunately we haven't been able to connect with a life group because our schedule is a little crazy. Since I quit my job I work at VSA on Monday and Tuesday evenings so those nights are out. Then Wednesdays Rob had class. So our only family nights were Thursday and Friday plus the weekends BUT I do  have a thriving business with Tastefully Simple and you guessed it...thursdays, fridays and saturdays are my prime days for parties. So needless to say it was difficult to find a day that worked.

So when a new bible study started on Wednesday nights and Robs school schedule changed I decided I *might* try it out. You know the feeling. You think it's exactly what you need but you sorta drag your feet for no good reason and hesitate to commit because your life is overcommitted as it is.

Well last night I had all the reasons not to go. Because Max hadn't napped a wink all day and then I took him to a 2 hour playdate with our friends Heather and her daughter, ahem, I mean Max's girlfriend. He was exhausted and a TOTAL crankpot by the time we made it home.

The temperature was dropping and I had on darn cute flats without socks.

The good news is I had already extended the invitation to Danielle and she wanted to go so God did a neat little job of roping me into it despite my reservations and plain ol laziness.

WOW. I love when He does that. Because He normally does that when there are really good things involved.

When we arrived I recognized Natalie right away. Pretty easy since I have been reading her blog for the past two years. Lonnnnnnnng story short my friend Julie works at our church. Natalie and her husband led a lifegroup that Julie and her husband Trevor were a part of. So I knew of them through the grapevine. Julie recommended that I read Cindy Beall's blog because she rocks so I did and on her link love I found Natalies blog and have been reading both of them for awhile now. The blog bug bit me hard when Rob was deployed so I found a lot of great blogs.

Anywhoo, Cindy was there too along with lots of other women that I recognize from church and a few unfamiliar faces. Last connection of the day is that ANOTHER amazing blogger that I get the privilege of knowing in real life is Andi Hawkins who is also known as the Running Mama and she and Cindy have reconnected through the blogosphere as well. Shewwwwww, I tell you all that just because I think it's pretty cool how God is invested in the details and the connecting points of our lives.

Ok the REAL reason I say that God is cool was because of the subject matter. I had no idea walking in what we were going to be studying. Natalie quickly explained that our first 5 weeks were going to be focused on studying the tabernacle of the Old Testament and the temple of the New Testament. I have read these verses before, I mean it's pretty common subject matter that we are the temple of God in the New Testament and I have looked and read and thought about those verses frequently in the past two years as I have focused on my health.

But NEVER had I studied the tabernacle in the Old Testament. I have probably skipped over the talk of the tabernacle in Exodus many times because let's get real, it's long and it's very detailed. And if you aren't correlating it to the TEMPLE of the New Testament aka US then its a little tedious to read. What Natalie did an awesome job of doing was opening my eyes to was the care, attention, and love that God put into the details of the O.T. tabernacle. Then when you STOP and think that same care, attention and love is exactly what he wants for us as his TEMPLE then it takes on a WHOLE NEW FREAKIN COOL meaning.

Where it really really really hit home though was that the past few weeks God has been working on my heart about my health, ahem, again. It seemed like a weird time for that to be on my heart because um yeah I am pregnant. It's not the time I can go start a new routine or cut my calories or whatever. But I knew that there was a definite calling going on to spend time thinking about my health. I knew it wasn't a call to do something physical but rather emotional and mental. I am TIRED of not feeling healthy. I am TIRED of the condemnation *eh eh Natalie* that I have felt about my weight struggles. But what can I do about it when I have 18 more weeks of baby growing going on?

THIS. This study is EXACTLY what I can do while I grow baby Stella. I can study and read and learn and roll around and relish reading the details of God's care for the tabernacle and then I can sit and let Him smack me in the head while I realize that THIS IS WHY WE ARE THE TEMPLE. AND THIS IS WHY WE HAVE BEEN CALLED TO TREAT OURSELVES AS SUCH. AND THIS IS WHY I CANNOT MOVE FORWARD UNTIL I FIGURE IT ALL OUT!

I am too excited to go back and read and edit this gigantically long post. I just had to write it out because although you might be completely confused and see no connection whatsoever I felt like God played connect the dots with me last night. Ding, Ding, Ding, I get it. And I am so thankful that I went last night.

God is cool.
Jesi