Wednesday, December 17, 2008



Can I start by saying I miss the blog world? Things are really really busy this time of year at work. Most of you know that I am a professional event coordinator, thus my December is filled to the max with corporate Holiday parties, and weddings glorious with red the shade of the season.

In addition to the craziness of my daytime job, I took a serious plunge and decided to start a business with Tastefully Simple. Have you heard of it? All I can say is that I love it! And I have been incredibly blessed to see wonderful success from it much so that it may impact our future plans. Sooner than later even.

So forgive me, I missed you all.

On to the topic at hand. Trust.

In the past several weeks my eyes have been opened to the possibility that I *might* be able to control my own success as far as my career goes. That I may be able to change the way that I work each day. That sometime in the future, I may get to stay home with my baby when he doesn’t feel so great, instead of rushing him to school as I run myself ragged on the way to that day job.

But even though I should be SUPER excited by this, and in theory I am, I can’t help but feel fearful and full of apprehension. I wish I could say this was out of character for me, but that would be a lie. I am a ball of worries and self induced stress. I struggle with that whole “handing it over to God” thing. I wish that it came easier to me! But even when I make a tangible decision to NOT worry, I worry about not worrying. Sigh.

So today when I thought about it I realized that my anxiety over this situation was deeply rooted in fear. FEAR. Fear that we would not be able to pay our bills and provide for our family.

And then I stopped. I don’t provide for my family. Rob doesn’t provide for my family. Our jobs don’t provide for our family. GOD provides for this family. God and only God make the provisions for my house. So if staying home with my baby is a desire of my heart, even though I know it will be a challenging desire, then what do I have to fear?

God will provide, always, today, yesterday and tomorrow. He is the same. And even when our budget has been in the red, the shade of this season, He has provided. So what do I have to fear? Nothing.

Well maybe the thought of entertaining Max all day, but that is a whole nother story.

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