Wednesday, October 8, 2008


When you found out your husband was being deployed, what was your reaction?

Fear, Anger, Frustration, Sadness, Panic, Worry, Stress?

Sound familiar? Probably...I felt all of those emotions and more when I found out that Rob was being deployed. Some emotions that I didnt feel...excitement, promise, joy. Duh! I was not excited for Rob to be gone the first year of Max's life. I felt no promise of what was to come when I realized I would be a temporary pseudo single mom. There was no joy in knowing I couldn't touch my husbands face or breathe in his heady scent for months on end.

But there was an opportunity. An opportunity to test what I am made of, to see how strong I was, when I clung desperately to Him. To realize how weak I was when I tried to do it all on my own. To figure out how much I love my husband and how valuable he is to our lives. To understand how painful it was for God to sacrifice His son, to understand what that sacrifice really meant when I felt my love for Max radiate through my entire being.

I never saw our deployment as an opportunity but it has been. It has been an opportunity to love, to live, to find myself in this sea of chaos that we call motherhood and life and faith.

I can only wish for you the same. When you wake up tomorrow, take a deep breath and try with all your might to see your challenges and adversity as an opportunity. It might just change your whole life, it happened to me.



it's me, just me, nothing fancy, just simple me said...

so i got the call from the field that aaron could deploy as early as four weeks out! and all i could think was, 'what about our september wedding!' this was march!

but, it was a blessing in disguise. we moved our wedding up to three weeks post-phone call. it was the wedding 'we' had wanted. and just days before we became husband and wife, we found out we were going to be parents!

and as the army does so many times, it was a false alarm! for then. the paper orders came a few weeks later and i spent my entire pregnancy on an emotional roller coaster: a newly wed, a mom-to-be and a single-parent in waiting.

it's been nearly a year since aaron deployed. there are so many things that i'm mad, really fighting mad, about him missing: so many of cayman's firsts. sure, everythings on video and in pictures, but it's not the same as being there in person. however, this deployment too has lend itself to opportunities. we, cayman and i, moved back home and have my parents have had the opportunity to grow so close with us (cayman waits for them to come home in the evenings!). i've made some amazing civi mom friends. and, aaron reminds me everyday, it's only a few months out of a lifetime. and if we have to give up these few months for the rest of our lives, we'll take the opporunity.

so, the emotional roller coaster continues for a few more months, but at least it's not a lifetime.

Jesi said...


I love your heart! You are a great Military mommy and wife! Keep on posting!