I can’t believe it is already November! Where does time fly?
Since we already reached the November calendar in my planner, and the leaves are turning here, and Wal Mart and Lowe’s and the parking lot down the street already have up Christmas displays, I figured it was time we talk about the Holidays.
The Holidays alone.
Gulp. Not a very fun Monday topic. Ugggg, the Holidays are such a tricky thing. We love to celebrate and at Christmas have VERY good reason to. But it doesn’t make it any easier to stomach the fact that your spouse is 1000’s of miles away from you. It kinda makes you want to shout Bah Humbug from your rooftop right?
Rob missed several Holidays when he was deployed last year. Namely Thanksgiving, Valentines Day, his birthday, my birthday, our anniversary and several others that didn’t really seem to matter. We were incredibly lucky that he was here for Christmas and New Years, the 4th of July, and got home just in time for Max’s birthday.
I don’t take it for granted that we had him home during those big holidays. Because there are families all around me that do not have their loved ones home. They missed the big birthday, and they will miss Christmas too. And that sucks. It just plain stinks.
What helped me get through the holidays, the days when everyone around me celebrated and my heart was missing a piece of itself was to stop and be thankful. Stop and remember to be so grateful for having a brave and loyal husband. Thankful that he was safe. That another day had passed and we were 24 hours closer to the end. Thankful that I had an amazing family. So grateful for my healthy child. So thankful that we have a house, a roof, two cars, a dog, and more than we need. So grateful for my God who walked beside me in my loneliness, who carried me when I couldn’t take another step.
It is so easy, and so justified to wallow in a heap of self pity when the Holidays hit home and your loved one is deployed. So take a deep breath, let the tears out, pray, and remember to be thankful. To be utterly cliché, count your blessings and walk through another day. Tomorrow the holiday is over, and you are 24 hours closer to home.
Always,
Jesi
“I tell you the truth; you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy” John 16:20
1 comment:
i have to be honest, i didn't get past the 2nd paragraph. even writing this i'm in pieces.
the 25th of this month will mark 1 year since aaron deployed and it's not over yet. it doesn't bother me that he missed my birthday again or even his own. and the first birthday doesn't bother me as much as knowing that aaron not only missed cayman waking up on his first christmas morning and going to church and having dinner and unwrapping presents, but the fact that he'll miss his 2nd christmas too. sure, we did christmas early last year and we'll do it late this year. and grant it cayman's too young to understand that christmas really isn't in november or in february, but still. and grant it, i do get to wait on christmas shopping until after the holidays and snag all the great sales. but i would give it all back to wake up christmas morning next to my husband this christmas and head to service and enjoy cooking up a storm and watching my husband help our son play with all his toys. but i know God has other plans, better plans for us.
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