So I posted before about how tough breastfeeding was...well we gave it up yesterday. I know all the information about how wonderful breastfeeding is for baby and that is why I gave it a try and probably why I still have the tiniest amount of guilt for quitting. BUT, what no one tells you is how hard it can be.
Max was not latching great in the hospital so they gave me this dandy little thing called a nipple shield. Nice huh? Not really, it was a huge pain to deal with everytime he nursed. Then his latch didn't improve and it HURT. Like really, really HURT. I would have to distract myself long enough to let the kid eat. Not very bonding for us.
I know everyone says it is so convienent but I felt very tied down to breastfeeding. I am modest and with the shield and his trouble latching nursing in public or NIP was not an option for us. Therefore all of our times out and about had to be limited to three hours so we could get home to feed. That seems like a long time but it isn't.
On top of all the trouble I felt like I was going crazy. I figured out that I felt guilty about quitting and why? Breastfeeding is a wonderful thing if it works out for you and your family. But with Rob gone I already have to deal with feelings of "doing everything myself" That isn't really true because of everyone who is helping out but I still FEEL that way. So for only me to be able to feed Max was another area that I HAD to do it myself and it wasn't leaving me a sane mommy.
Yesterday, when I decided to be a breastfeeding dropout I felt the biggest weight lifted instantly. It was solidified at Max's two week appointment. My poor little baby has lost weight, he is down to 6.5 pounds. I felt like a terrible mommy but now I feel even better about switching over to the bottle because we have to chunk up this little guy! The pic above is him being weighed at birth, we gotta get back up to that birth weight!
So all in all we are already happier. Max has been fed by me, my mom and his Aunt Julie. It's wonderful to have the help and I know that for us the bottle equals me and Max getting to enjoy each other more every day!
Love to all!
Jess and Mad Max
1 comment:
Don't you worry!!!! The nurse at my appointment looked at me like I was crazy when I said I didn't know if I would breastfeed or not... too many variables and I will be by myself all the time anyway! I got your back on this one for sure!!!
AND... in case no one else has told you, and I'm sure they have, all babies lose weight after birth. It's just what happens. So, don't you think for a second that because you weren't doing right by him that he lost that weight! All babaies do that! Promise!
Love you! Slu :)
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