Coming to an End

Our R&R is almost over, it felt so long when it was just beginning. Stretching out in front of us like a mirage, endless possibilities. The 4th seemed so far away from the 23rd, the 9th seemed even further and now we are here.

Rob heads back to the desert in the next 24 hours. We are on our last day’s countdown and I am at work. Max is at daycare. Rob needed a few hours to get his stuff ready, to pack and probably to just sit in our house undisturbed.

I can’t believe it is almost done. It sucks, sucks in a way that only deployments suck but I am doing ok. Wondering how goodbye will go, wondering how many days it will take my body, mind and spirit to readjust to temporary pseudo single mom status. See, when there is no Rob there is no hands to make a bottle, bring me what I need, capture the Monkey from his crib in the middle of the night when he wakes up sick, no one to hand the keys, someone else to drive, to call, to talk to.

There is someone though, someone who I have leaned on more during this deployment than ever before. An amazing friend, the kind who just listens when you need to cry. That person, you can always call, even in the wee hours of the morning when your child just won’t sleep. The hand to help you when you can’t keep going at it alone, the person you can hand the keys to, just letting them drive for awhile. I can totally trust this friend, I can be every part of myself, ugly, lazy, angry, happy, joyful, sad, happy, prideful, humble.

I am so thankful that I have a friend like that. I would have never made it through the past 9 months with out Him. He is mighty and all knowing but small enough to sit beside you. He will listen when you cry out to Him. He will sit up with you at night. He will wipe the tears from your face, He will drive your life, if you give Him the keys, and you let Him, no backseat drivers here.

I do not understand how you could make it through the challenges of life with out Him. I don’t understand a life without Faith. Not that I am always faithful, see post below. There have been MANY moments, a plethora really where I have turned my back, hardened my heart, and covered my ears from His voice. Covered my eyes from His works.

But still, He is ALWAYS there. There is no greater friend. NO GREATER FRIEND. Not your husband, your pastor, your mom, your best and oldest friend, your new and closest friend. None of them compare to the relationship you can have with Christ. If only you will hand Him the keys, and just let Him drive.

Always
Jess

P.S. Once Rob returns we will have approximately 12 Sundays left, 6 paydays, 3ish months. Heck of a lot better than those 51 Sundays we started with!