Transparent

In the big world of blogging there is a definite sense of community. As you share your inner thoughts and feelings you feel like people get to know you and in turn you get to know others “well” even if you have never met them before.

So with that in mind, I would like to introduce you to a blog buddy, Natalie. She is touching and hilarious all at the same time and also writes my favorite daily blog bible study, Stilletto Army. I encourage you to check her out.

Anywhoo a few days ago Natalie posted a very transparent blog about her issues with weight. She has about 20 pounds to lose and together with this awesome blogging world there are a number of us who have agreed to start a running program. Now let me tell you this, I am NOT A RUNNER. I truly don’t believe that God made me to be a runner. Did He make me to be a healthier me? YES! A runner? Hmmm not so sure on that one.

But nonetheless I agreed to start it again because I fell off my own wagon after about a month early in the summer. I can give you all my excuses but what it boils down to is a lack of self discipline. Oh yeah, I also convinced Rob I had to have a jogging stroller so I really need to use it. Whoops!

So as I start this running program errr barely breathing while walk-jogging program I ask that you pray for my self discipline in the coming weeks.

In addition I felt the need to confess in my own transparent moment. Natalie needs to lose 20 pounds and I need to lose about 65…YES 65. Ok I think I carry my weight well, I mean another person wearing my weight might look bigger than I am. I have always been heavier than people guessed. Even at my most fit (when btw I still thought I was fat) I was a heavy girl. If I told you my real weight you would probably be shocked but come on I can’t be THAT transparent!

Let’s just say that going to college and stopping intense weekly dance classes at the same time were hard on my health. That and the fact that I have never put it at the forefront of my life…good in some ways…I never became obsessed with my body, harmed myself, or based my self confidence and success on the number on the scale, bad because I am now suffering the consequences of ignoring an issue.

In addition to my new “running” program I am also going to the doctor today to discuss my weight issues. Yes, the real doctor. I (thankfully) don’t have any health problems like high blood pressure or diabetes but I don’t want this to continue so I am seeking medical help. AND finally I am also enrolled in a womens group at my church, Victorychurch.tv called BABES. Do I think I am a babe? Umm no. Would I like to be? YES. I will meet with these women on a weekly basis to exercise, weigh in and address the hardest part of weight problems, the emotional reasons we eat and what God thinks about the way we treat our bodies.

So please, wish me self discipline and focus in the coming weeks, month and year. I didn’t gain those 65 pounds overnight and I won’t lose them that quickly either. But it’s time, time to fight back against this ugly issue of the heart that is now affecting my physical body.

Always