Waiting

I wake up and go through the motions but the entire time I am waiting.

I arrive, and go through the motions but the entire time I am waiting.

I answer the phone, answer questions, answer my boss, but the entire time I am waiting.

I browse sites, openings and possibilities but I do not act because I am waiting.

I daydream about what it will be like, but for now I cannot fully see the vision because I am just, waiting.

I think about His perfect timing and I am reminded despite the gray that I am waiting.

I am a lady in waiting. I LONG for a change but I do not take a step because I am waiting.

Despite a first year with motherhood that made me question my sanity, the Army, heck even God himself *yes I have questioned God before, haven't you?* I decided months ago that my current position was making it very hard for me to honor my family and therefore honor God. Yes, I am very blessed in this unstable economy to have a reliable income (somewhat) but to say that I am happy, fulfilled or feel like I am in the right place MIGHT be a stretch. So I have been praying and waiting, and waiting, and gosh darn it, waiting some more.

It does not seem like the right time yet but I just keep on waiting, faithfully waiting on His promises and learning to trust that whenever whatever happens it is going to be a big lesson in trusting Him. That does not mean that I love waiting.

Waiting,
Jesi